5 on a Friday!

{ONE}

Let's discuss Courtney Loves Dallas...anybody watch this on Bravo last night? You know I'm a Bravo freak so I'll jump on board with practically anything they air. I really loved Most Eligible Dallas, which is how we all got introduced to Courtney Kerr. I was really rooting for her and Matt Nordgren! She's just a doll. But honestly I was a little let down by the show last night. Hopefully it will pick up as the season goes on. 

 

{TWO}

 

RIP Nelson Mandela - The world truly lost a warrior yesterday. Such an amazing man, with big ideas and truly believed in making this world a better place for the sake of humanity and not selfish reasons.

 

{THREE}

The Band Perry - Don't Let Me Be Lonely
I love this song! Did you see them with Fall Out Boy on CMT Crossroads a couple weeks ago? So good! I love that Crossroads show and how they mix up music styles. Fun Fact of the day: My brother is completely in love with Kimberly Perry. Most of the girls he dates resemble her.

 

 

{FOUR}

For your viewing pleasure....the man I will be getting cozy with in 9 days (just go with it...in my head we will be getting quite cozy) I am thankful for JT for rescuing sexy and bringing it back to us.

 

{FIVE}

I have some exciting life news to share with you guys! I am getting baptized this Sunday (for the 2nd time in my life). The first time I was baptized I was like 11 years old. I was in 6th grade and had only just kissed a boy. I hadn't experienced any real tragedy or heartache, and definitely hadn't made many mistakes. Then I grew up, church began to fall lower on my priority list. I still had faith, but spent about 11 years out of church completely. I wouldn't call it a completely terrible time in my life, but there was always something missing. Enter a heartbreak last November and I tried every single way I could think of to fill this void inside myself. Since Feb this year I've been going to my current church. I absolutely love it. If you've been a reader around here for any length of time then you've seen me struggle and you've heard me talk about getting back my personal relationship with God along the way. I have definitely found my place and through being single and focusing on myself this year, I've been able to further grow my relationship with God. It's been absolutely life changing for me! I will still stumble in my walk of faith, I will still feel sad some days, I will still have a beer, I will still date, but my priorities are different. Someone who has been a true spiritual mentor to me will be baptizing me and I cannot wait to share my story with all my friends & family!

 

Happy Weekend loves!!

 



Random Wednesday

I haven't linked up with my boo Shanna in a while, and since I'm feeling all sorts of random today this works out perfectly. Plus, I love that girl. Seriously, if you don't know her she is the most fashionable, absolutely sweetest, loving, supportive and genuine person. She's definitely one of my dream blates!

 

Random 1: I am totally one of those annoying East Coast people who blabs about TV shows all over my Twitter & Instagram before my West Coast homies get to watch. SORRY! The Voice is probably the main one that I get sucked into tweeting about...and last night I may have expressed how upset I was about Matthew going home. I couldn't help it! Don't hate me, friends!

 

Random 2: Have y'all seen this video of Run Burgundy interviewing Peyton Manning? hilarious!

 

Random 3: If you are a true Hunger Games series fan, then you know you laughed at this.

 

Thanksgiving Weekend Update

 

Few words in the English language are more desirable to my ears than: 4 day weekend. I can't even remember the last time I had 4 days in a row off. It was so glorious! And I survived Thanksgiving with my family!!!! YIPEE! It actually wasn't bad at all. My mom had her moments, but we spent a lot of time at her house going through old pictures - which is one of my favorite things to do. No big blow ups and no tears this year - CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!? It's a Thanksgiving miracle!

 

I was pretty lazy most of the weekend. I did clean my house, rearrange my bedroom and living room furniture - by myself, and put up all my Christmas decorations though. But I also totally got sucked into How I Met Your Mother, Parks & Recreations and Harry Potter marathons. Yoga pants were my best friend. I laughed so hard at one episode of Parks & Rec, I spit out my wine. I didn't hate it! Being lazy is my new thing...apparently I need more friends.

 

Saturday was the PERFECT day to be a Vol fan! Alabama lost the Iron Bowl, Florida lost to FSU and we beat Kentucky! The ultimate trifecta. AND HOLY CRAP THE WALKING DEAD!!!! I seriously cannot wait until February now.

 

Here's my weekend in pictures via Instagram {nikkib918}

 

Love these 2 fellas - Left is my brother's "puppy" Bo & right is our old boy Chipper (we're a Braves family, can't you tell?)

TREE TIME!!! I'm a big believer in waiting until AFTER Thanksgiving for Christmas decorations.

Seriously love Christmas lights! I am that weirdo who sits at home, in the dark, with only my Christmas lights on. It's so relaxing.

Galatians 6:9, needed to hear this yesterday!

 

Feeling Heavy on the Thankful

This post is a little heavy...sorry about that! But I want to make you laugh first! Nothing is better than a dancing Peeta!

Seems like every year I go into the holiday season with a negative attitude. Dealing with my family is not an easy task for me. My mom and I butt heads almost every single time I speak to her. So enter the holidays and we are thrown together and there's your definition of ugly. It has become very ugly on many occasions between us at the holidays. It would take me a very long time to fully explain the relationship my mom and I have to you. But I can sum it up by saying that I think she resents me and doesn't ever try to hide those feelings, while acting completely opposite towards my brother. She's also very emotional and dramatic, and while I do have my moments, I am mostly not like that so it's hard for me to relate to her. We are pretty much polar opposites. She has battled drug & alcohol addictions her whole life, and unfortunately put her family last sometimes when it came to her vices. She hates that I'm not like her and that I'm close with my aunt and my dad. She is always taking any opportunity to get in digs at me. {end rant} That being said...my mom is very sick right now. She has stage 4 lung cancer and she's been battling that for 14 months. I try to appease her because I know she is sick, but I am being honest when I say my relationship with her is still very much a challenge.

 

My brother has always been the most important person in my life. I would do absolutely anything for that boy. But since my breakup last November, he has not been supportive of me at all. It's been a roller coaster of a year with our relationship. I have probably cried just as much over him as I did over Skye. It's been a genuine reality check for me. And it's affected other people in our family as well. I don't want to put all the blame on him because I am to blame too. I understand he's immature and maybe didn't quite know how to support me, but I didn't expect much. Just a little loyalty and family solidarity. Even though he has hurt me, he will always be my baby brother. I will one day be able to get past things with him, but I'm not sure I ever have the desire to be close to my mom. I know that sounds awful to say, trust me, but it's the truth.

 

These are very personal family issues that I have been focusing on lately. But honestly I have to turn them over to God because they just weigh me down. I have let these things get in the way of my thankfulness for all the other wonderful things in my life.

 

My point today is: be thankful. Period. Even if you don't feel thankful, take a moment to give yourself some perspective.  We all struggle with things in our personal lives. We all go through bad patches, but we do not have bad lives.

I am going to try so hard this year to enjoy this time with my family instead of just trying to survive it. I am thankful for the people I have in my life who do always support me and never belittle me. I am thankful for my church, which has completely transformed me from a broken person with a black heart. I am thankful for being able to know you through reading all your stories and for you being able to read mine. I am thankful for those who know the darkest depths of my secrets and never judge me. I am thankful for all my little daily blessings that other people pray for.

I'm gonna turn the comments off on this post, but definitely want to wish you ALL a Happy Thanksgiving with the ones you love! XOXO