Playing Major Catch Up

Pretty sure I'm a straight up stranger around here these days!! My blog is so outdated, it's like going back in time when I log on to Blogger and look at my draft folder. I don't have a pup anymore so I'm not even sure I can still be THE PINK GROWL - is that allowed?? I do still love pink and gold (our wedding colors!!!) so maybe that's enough to get me by for now.

Currently - I have two posts sitting as drafts about wedding planning. WELP, I got married on April 9th so that's old news now! I can't believe the last time I blogged was in December after we got engaged. Obviously, A LOT has happened since then.

Let's play a little catch up! In November I sold my house, moved in the with (then) fiancé. My house sold much faster than I anticipated and I only moved in with him temporarily to have a place to live. I had no idea in a couple weeks we would be engaged. We got engaged on December 12th after 8 months of dating and planned a wedding in 4 months. April 9th was a special date for us so I was really hoping we could pull everything together in time! The truth of the matter is, wedding planning can be stressful, it can be hard, it can drive you crazy and definitely drive you broke! BUT, it is doable on a tight budget & timeline! People told me I was crazy! I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard "wow you guys are really in a hurry!" or "it's so soon". Yes, we are aware that it's so soon, thank you for the update. It's not that we were in a hurry necessarily. But I'm 31 and he's 33, so we knew what we wanted and when we wanted it and we went for it. It's not like we just met each other either. We never wanted to be engaged for a long time, and honestly I think it was the perfect amount of time! I'm very happy with the way things turned out. And the best part is, now I have a husband!!!!

 {Photo Creds to B.Loved Images}

I look back at my old posts from last year when we started dating, and it's so exciting/crazy/overwhelming/AMAZING to see how things have happened!! All those times I was so stressed about finding the right guy, and what felt like the next step in my life. I had no idea that I would end up marrying someone I already knew (and totally had a crush on for years)! The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways, you guys! Trust me on that!!

I run into people who want to offer me marriage advice a lot. Sometimes more like comments vs. advice. And I think that's great. We all have opinions and I love an honest person who will tell it like it is. However, people can be so negative sometimes! It's disappointing actually. Haters in the grass! To be fair, I don't believe the majority of people mean any harm by it. But it can wear on your nerves when you're on Cloud 9. I don't for one second think that my marriage will be easy or a fairy tale story, but I know that I am hopeful that we will always make it work. I'd like to think that years down the road, I'm not the bitter soul giving out the negative words. I hope that I can take my experiences - even the awful, ugly, knock down drag out ones - and use them for good.

Certain parts of this journey have truly felt like a whirlwind adventure - both in good ways and some bad. Joining your life together with another person isn't always an easy transition and we have a 9 year old child involved too, so there have been some prickly moments. But you press on through the struggles when you KNOW things are right. Today, I 100% stand in a place where I can be fully thankful for all the mishaps along the way because that's how I ended up here.

So there's my two cents. Clearly, I don't have a dang clue what I'm talking about. Somehow now I'm a wife and a stepmom, when usually I can barely make it through each work day :) Such is life!

Missed all my bloggy pals!! XOXO

The Final Chapter in Our Story

It's just TWO days away. 4/27/13 was a date that was supposed to change my world. My wedding date. My world has absolutely changed, although in a completely different way than I originally thought. One year ago today, I was riding the engagement high and just diving into the wedding planning process. I was so wrapped up in my own little happy place that I couldn’t see the things that were beginning to unravel. I had waited almost 8 years for Skye to become my husband and there was nothing more important in this world to me. I wanted it more than I have ever wanted anything. I felt like finally my life was going to be complete and I never had a doubt that we wouldn’t make it down the aisle. One of the things he said to me when he left will always stick with me. “You just wanted to get married, not necessarily to me.” It stung that November night, and it stings now to say it out loud. For the record, I do not feel like that’s the truth. I 100% wanted to get married, 100% wanted to settle down and start our family, 100% wanted to be with him forever. To me it felt like the natural next step in our relationship. There are several reasons that I attribute to our demise, none of which either of us ever in a million years saw playing out the way they did. (at least in my opinion). Of course there is my version of events, then his version and somewhere in between lies the nitty gritty truth. Honestly, none of the He Said – She Said really matters 6 months down the road. He has moved on and I am definitely in the process of moving on and sadly there’s no looking back. It feels like years ago that I even knew him that way and that we spent our every moment together.

This verse has helped me so much over the past 6 months - it's my life quote. When in doubt, turn to Proverbs!

 

Isn’t it amazing how resilient we are? How one moment I was in literal physical pain over my heartbreak and now I am on this path of rediscovery? Time truly heals all wounds and the Lord makes things happen in our lives that will always find a way to work out for the best. I’ve always believed and said these things – especially to others during times of trial or struggle. But I had only barely experienced them. I have (and still am) learning so much about myself – about who I am vs. who I want to be and how I want others to view me. I am not that girl who wants to be seen as broken. I want to be seen as a strong girl who has been faced with a difficult situation and completely kicked it’s ass. Some days are easier than others, and you all know I am in a constant battle with emotional eating, but most of the time these days I feel good. I want to feel like myself again - I want to feel good about my body, but it all takes time. I am positive that God has blessed me with a second chance. A chance to grow closer to Him, to meet new people and surround myself with positive encouragers, to grow closer to my family, maybe an opportunity to move away, and definitely a second chance at love. But most importantly a chance to fully develop into the person HE wants me to be.

 

I know 100% for a fact that I would NOT even be close to where I am today without the support of my readers. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! I have made such lasting friendships and I treasure them so much! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! LOVE YOU!

 

After this weekend, I think I will be fully able to move on with my life. No more milestones to hang onto, no more looking back. There will still be tough days, it's a looooong process and I must be patient with mself, but soon things will fall into place for me. And when all else fails there's always margarita therapy!



 

Post Mortem

To my dear sweet friends who are still sticking around and reading my blog after 2 weeks of instability....thank you for being there. I cannot give you enough thanks for the support that you have shown me. It brings me to tears. I started blogging because I wanted to be a part of this community; and trust me when I say I was overwhelmed by my all my lovelies who reached out to me and offered me stories of support or words of kind encouragement. I love being a part of this blog world where we can help empower and lift each other up when someone needs that. YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!

 

I think I am alive. I am hovering around rock bottom these days. It's been 11 days since Skye broke off our engagement my heart. The ring is no longer in my possession, my face is constantly stained with tears and I've lost 7 lbs. My heart is raw and aching. Nothing kicks a girl in the ass like a heartbreak. But like my girl Beyonce said, I'm a survivor. This will be a long hard road ahead of me, but I need to accept the fact that my life is moving in a different direction than I ever thought possible. <Insert pinterest quotes here>.

 

This little gem has helped me. Each day I am challenged and I cry, but each day I must continue on. Tilly & Sadie need their mama! (yes, I kept both dogs)

 

I trust that in time I will see the path that is meant for me. I will be able to see the error in my ways in this relationship and will be able to flourish fully in my next. I will one day be able to love again without fear of losing everything. I am thankful for that day already.

 

But for now, I just have to get by and that's what I plan to do. Fake it until you make it the name of my game friends. So back to blogging is the plan to help me keep this little crazy mind busy.

 

There's actually a pretty exciting little Southern blogger meet up in the works that I'm looking to throw myself into planning. If you are a Southern gal - keep your eyes peeled for the big news about this soiree!!

 

Engagement Pictures - Sneaky Peeky

To all my friends who are braving this crazy Sandy storm - you are in my thoughts & prayers! Stay safe! (If you can even read this because you might be without power).

 

I have a special little treat for you today! (Really it's a special treat for me, but hopefully you will enjoy it too.) If you have been following The Pink Growl for any length of time now you know that almost 9 weeks ago we had our engagement pictures taken. I have been waiting...not so patiently...to see these babies. I had to beg and plead with Skye just to have them done. I was probably more excited about these pictures than just about any other detail in wedding planning, thus far. You can see our three original sneak peek photos here. Of those three: I loved one, liked one and thought I looked fat in one. My photographer posted a Sneak Peek engagement album of 20 pictures on Facebook last night, and I'm waiting to get the actual disk from her with 100 pictures. I am on the fence with some of them that she posted, so I'm hoping there are more on the disk that I love. I want to be blown away by them and I want them to bring tears to my eyes. The pictures are the most important thing to me because that's basically all we will have to look back on.

 

Here's your sneaky peeky of my favs! I will show you more when I get the disc in the mail. What do you think?? Be honest!

 

{All images are courtesy of Blush Creative Photography}

 

 

Wedding Wednesday

I borrowed this lovely little checklist from Ms. Megan over at Fried Green Pickles. This Saturday will officially put us at the 6 month out countdown! I'm being honest when I say that makes me both overjoyed and terrified at the same time. Here's a little glimpse at where I stand with the planning - I should be finalizing our DJ & caterer this week. Then the only MAJOR thing left is to book our honeymoon and of course all the little details. When I hear the saying "the devil is in the details" I know that's true! All these little details will be the death of me! My face is 50 kinds of broken out and I have PMS...I do not need to be near a hot glue gun during these stressful times.

Set a date – 4/27/13

Book venue – Sequoyah Marina, Norris Lake

Book photographer – Blush Creative Photography

Book band/DJ – finalizing this soon!

Ask bridal party to be in wedding

Book caterer & bar - finalizing

Register - doing hopefully this weekend

Book florist

Brooch Bouquet

Shop for wedding dress

Book rentals

Take engagement pictures

Select bridesmaid dresses - David's Bridal

Make sure bridesmaids dresses have been ordered by the end of October/November

Select groom & groomsmen attire – selected not ordered

Find veil?

Book cake baker

Buy cake knife & server

Order save the dates – done 9/25/12

Send save the dates – in the mail on 10/13/12

Book officiant – Josh Green

Pre-marital counseling

Order guest book – N & S letters for non-traditional Guest Book

Finalize guest list

Find a reasonably priced videographer

Hotel room blocks – check on the condos at Stardust

Calligraphy - DIY!

Engagement announcement in papers

MOB & MOG dress shopping

Find wedding shoes

Bridesmaid shoes - Found, need to order

Find wedding jewelry

Order garter

Book makeup artist & hair stylist

Menu tasting

Take bridal portraits / hair & make up trial

1st dress fitting – late Feb.

2nd (final?) dress fitting

Make ceremony programs/fans

Figure out where we want to do first look

Figure out where I'm getting ready & where Skye is getting ready

Who will set up ceremony chairs? - venue staff

Order invitations

Address invitations

Mail invitations – late Feb/early March

Book rehearsal dinner venue

Book RD caterer

Book RD rentals

Book RD music

Buy RD dress

Order pom poms for send off

Order koozies for favors

Buy bridal party gifts

Bachelorette party - St. Patty's Weekend 3/16/13

Bridal shower

Purchase wedding bands

Create wedding day timeline

Put together picture list for photographer

DIY signs for Sequoyah Rd. and venue

DIY signs for reserved seating & seat yourself

Get marriage license - March

Book transportation from reception to hotel

Book honeymoon - narrowing down options

Get passports made

RD invitations

RD groom's cake

Final vendor payments

Music selections to band and ceremony artist

Book wedding night hotel room

Order thank you notes

Wedding announcement in papers

EAT, DRINK & GET MARRIED!

 

I had a wonderful meeting with my "wedding coordinator" of sorts last night at our venue. This is what it looked like at sunset...no filter. I HOPE & PRAY for a gorgeous day for our wedding! It definitely renewed my excitement!

And here is where I'm about to get all emotional on you...

Skye and I are a "good time" couple. We joke a lot, drink party and like to have fun. I think a lot of people don't get to see our sweet side as a couple. Everyone loves Skye - he's very lovable and funny, but not everyone gets to see how sweet he can be to me with a little kiss on my forehead or sitting through Harry Potter movies with me. I want our wedding to be a blast. I want people to say they had the time of their lives at our special day. However, I'm also starting to think that I want to get some emotions involved. I'm not an overly outward emotional person. I found these vows on Pinterest and I cried. This is what I want!

Source: Arianna Dicus via http://weddingdaypin.com/?p=42623

Now I have the bright idea for us to write our own vows. Originally I did not want to do this because I knew I would cry...but I'm thinking it would add a special emotional touch. I can't tell if it's my hormones pushing me to make this decision or the sane me? Did you write your own vows - why or why not? I need help with this decision!

Oh How Pinteresting: Wedding Wednesday Edition

 

Back to wedding talk today via Pinterest with a little surprise of my own at the bottom of this post. My wedding is 206 days away. The time is absolutely flying by. Major things that still need to be accomplished are finalizing a caterer and a DJ. I honestly never knew that DJs were so freaking expensive! It's insane! If you know any good DJs in the Knoxville/East Tennessee area then holla at your girl.

 

Here are some of my ideas for my perfectly purple lake wedding!

LOVE the ombre carnations!
Source: Jada hill via http://ruffledblog.com/purple-ombre-wedding-ideas/

You know I hate regular veils so I need other options.
Souce: Whitney Colleen via http://www.loveandlavender.com/2011/08/kristi-bonnici-headpiece-giveaway/

Reppin UT!
Source: Caroline Carlton via http://www.gartersandsuch.com/University-of-Tennessee-wedding-garter-p/tenngarter.htm

Cute idea to have a picture and About the Bridesmaids section at the reception
Source: Ashley Avila via http://the6chicks.com/2010/06/15/bridesmaid-love/

Gorgeous eye makeup for brown eyes
Source: Lauren Musec via http://www.iknowhair.com/popular-hairstyles-from-pinterest/

Perfect dock shot, I hope we get one like this!
Source: Brianna Blanchard via http://shelivedbythesea.tumblr.com/page/98

I love the simple flowers, with the bottles and maybe baby's breath.
Source: Ashley DeJesus via http://52flea.blogspot.com/2011/04/royal-color.html

Monogram
Source: Pamela Quijano via http://mypearlescake.com/gallery.php?recordsperpage=12&startrow=156&pagenum=

 And now for my little surprise for you...OUR SAVE THE DATE!

Source: Blush Creative Photography 2012

We ordered them last week so they should be in soon. I choose this picture because the water in the background and I wanted a really fun one on the Save the Date. Our photographer actually had me stand in front of Skye, with his arms around my shoulders and he would pull back towards him. It felt like I was going to fall, but I think it turned out pretty cute. I can't wait to marry this man! You like??

Updates

I don't have the energy for a real post today. Updates seem fitting.

 

1. I am feeling slightly better today. Throat is less sore, but I am severely tired. I've had 48 oz of Diet Coke today and zero water. Just trying to keep my peepers open and make it until 5pm. No fever though so hopefully I'm on the mend.

2. PMS has taken over my body. My face looks like a pizza, my tummy looks quite robust, and my energy level is non-existent. I'm so unprepared to run my first 5k next Saturday. I might die....Lord help me. Luckily, the Color Me Rad 5k is more about getting colorfied and less about a winning time. Actually it's not timed at all.

 

3. My mom is going tomorrow for her first chemo treatment. You can read about her lung cancer diagnosis here if you missed it. They went in for surgery to try and remove the spots on her lung, but found that due to their location they were inoperable. They have decided to go a chemo treatment route instead. We will know more about how aggressive the schedule will be after tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers, they really do help! I heart you all!

 

4. My wedding dress has been officially ordered! Now the countdown begins until February when the gorgeous thing comes in.

5. I'm in love with a stripper.


Oh wait, that's just the song that's been stuck in my head all day for no apparent reason. You're welcome.

Weekend Update

This weekend went by waaaaay too fast! And let me just say that for the record I do not like starting off my Monday morning with rain. Did ya hear that Mother Nature??

 

I got to spend yesterday with Skye, which was so nice when we haven't had a day off together in weeks. While having some minor wedding chat yesterday I realized that we need to get our asses in gear with planning. I am sooooo behind! Only 222 days y'all!!! EEEEK! Hopefully we will be getting the rest of our engagement pictures back this week because I am dying to see them!

 

Even though I am still in major denial and grief over the Vols horrific loss on Saturday night....I still managed to have a great weekend. I GOT A NEW CAR! I think that totally trumps a major football loss - well that's what I'm telling myself anyhow...

My new "key" which is not really a key, but the cover is PINK! It's one of those deals where you just keep it in your purse and the car will unlock and start as long as you have this close. There are two of them so the dealership gave me this pink cover so I knew which one was mine!

I'm the proud mama of a Nissan Rogue! Window tint coming soon, I can't stand riding around with untinted windows. I'm just gangsta like that.

Dinner with Baby Gunner - I can't get enough of his sweetness. He's 2 months old already!

Saw this over the weekend and it instantly reminded me of my brother and I. I'm the only one who can pick on my baby.

On a positive note to this rainy Monday, you still have time to enter my birthday giveaway to win a bubble necklace in your choice of color. I'm choosing the winner on my birthday so you only have until tomorrow! Go Enter NOW!