This & That

Long time, no see guys! I have to admit that life has been pretty hectic lately. Between work, church things, the boyfriend and friends - I barely have time to get enough sleep these days. But don't let me fool you into thinking I'm not ridiculously happy right now! Life is pretty great.

Mother's Day has come and gone and honestly I'm glad it's over. It was difficult for me and I wrestled with the anxiety for about two weeks leading up to it. It's just a part of what comes after losing your mama - the holidays, birthdays, family occasions, etc. will be difficult, especially the first time around. Now that people have moved on with their own lives and aren't constantly checking on me, I'm left not really knowing how to feel sometimes or how to act with how I'm feeling about not having my mama around. My heart has been a little heavy throughout the process trying to cope, but yet still trying to look for the positive that can come from this situation. I am so thankful for bloggers (Katie, Jennifer) who, unfortunately, have gone through this loss before me and have helped me to know what to expect through their writing. The Lord has been SO GOOD to surround me with people who are nurturing and supportive of me, some of them in the smallest ways they probably don't even realize.

One thing that's been convicting me so much since Mother's Day is that I am my mother's legacy. I was her first born child, her only daughter and probably the child that was the least close to her ultimately, but I am still her legacy. I want to talk more about that soon, but not right now. (Heavy Topic Alert!)

Let's get caught up!

Two weeks ago I saw NEEDTOBREATHE, Drew Holcomb & Ben Rector in concert - so so good!

You like how I drop the BOYFRIEND bomb and then just peace out? A little suspense never killed nobody!! Announcing your relationship is official on the blog can feel like the kiss of death. But so far...boyfriend and I are good. So amazingly crazy good. (Pretty sure he doesn't read my blog, so I could literally gush about him for days, but I'll spare you.) You should just rest assured that I have not felt like this in a long, long time, years. Like since the Skye era. Knowing that it could all blow up in my face tomorrow is scary, but remembering what it feels like to be a smitten little kitten is worth it. Insert ALL of the heart eye emojis.

I apparently cannot get enough of TSwift and all the things she does. Anybody else completely in love with this song??

Finished Amy Poehler's Book Yes Please. I knew she wouldn't disappoint, but I was laughing out loud most of the time. My favorite part?

I've been partaking in quite a few happy hours lately. When spring rolls around and work days get long I really have to admit that I love to unwind on a patio with a cold adult beverage. Judge me, if you must.


Speaking of The Countess... I am so obsessed with the current RHONY season. I'm a little behind since life has kept me from DVR binging as much as I'd like to, but I just can't get enough of this cast. I think it's the best cast they've had in a long time! (Maybe minus Dorinda, not crazy about her.)

I can't promise that I will be posting very regularly throughout the summer, but you know I won't be able to keep my mouth shut for too long. In the mean time, I'm always available for stalking on Instagram & Twitter if you need more frequent life updates.

XOXO

Look Before You Leap...Or Something Like That

Writing posts about dating has never been difficult for me. Sometimes it makes me cringe to look back at certain things I've said in posts, but I can say that my dating posts have been accurate descriptions of where I'm at in my life. It's kinda cool to be able to look back over the past two years of singleness  documented here on my corner of the internet and see how things have progressed. I do love an honest update. So now how to describe where my dating life is currently...

Earlier this week would have been my two year wedding anniversary if Skye and I would have gone through with getting married back in 2012. Honestly, I didn't even feel the date coming on this year. I was reminded by Timehop (dang you, Timehop!). I didn't even cry. It just felt very strange. Very much like remembering something from a movie I watched years ago, instead of feeling like an experience I actually lived through. I'm in a good place with that baggage right now. Parts of that story will always be hard for me, but that's okay because I truly wouldn't want to forget. The most recent ex-boyfriend baggage is in a decent place too. It felt like we were in a stage of limbo for the past couple of months - trying to be "friends" and remain on good terms since we go to church together, yet not really being sure how to make that happen. We got to a place last week where we decided we can't be friends, and honestly I'm okay with that. AND the best news...drumroll please...I actually have a new boyfriend!! Not just someone I have a crush on, but a full blown boyfriend. I am SMITTEN and things are really good right now. It makes me so excited to feel this way again, but I'm also trying to keep myself grounded. Which if I'm being honest, is really hard to do! Especially with a boyfriend as hot as mine! :)

Dating does funny things to a 30 year old woman. It can drive  you batty, make you feel empowered, drive you to drink, or (like in my current situation) act like you've never been hurt a day in your life and just LEAP. It's much easier to allow yourself to become scarred by the battles you've faced. Been there, done that. Represented loud and proud, all day, erryday with my former black heart. That's not a fun state to live in! And it's not sustainable for someone who genuinely wants to settle down. Letting people in and being vulnerable is hard, but truly necessary work. Being that I am the ripe old age of 30, I am well acquainted with my strengths and weaknesses. I know the reasons that I would consider myself to be a great catch. But that doesn't mean that I will be everyone's cup of tea. Taking a leap in dating means that you have heighten awareness of these truths, but do not allow them to hold you back. It's a fine line that can really trip most of us up. With all that being said, I've had to come to terms with the fact that it is possible to take a leap and end up falling flat on my face. I think that fear is what holds us back most. Nobody wants to get their feelings hurt.

The evolution of my dating life is an interesting thing to study. Looking back, I see times when I should have stood my ground more and trusted my instincts. I see times when I probably shouldn't have been so overly guarded. I see mistakes, let downs, learning experiences, I see awesome stories - there's a lot to see in the dating life of a 28-30 year old!! The thing that is different for me right now is that I'm ready to take a leap. So... I'm taking a leap! Are there uncertainties? Absolutely yes. Do I have insecurities? Duh, They can feel crippling at times. It's okay to feel those things - and even better to push through them. I don't know what will happen here, but I know that I am trying to pray my way through it. I mean it when I say I want to settle down. I mean it when I say I'm ready. But I know ultimately it's not up to my timing. God knows the desires of my heart (I'm pretty persistent in telling him often), and He's the only one who knows how my story will unfold.

Remember my 2015 word? BELIEVE. I am choosing right now to believe this season of my life will serve a purpose. And I know it will. I believe that what God has planned for me is unable to be thwarted (how you like that word!!) - even by my own selfish, sometimes stupid, decisions.

My best dating advice today is to take that leap, friend. Jump in head first into the deep end. Believe that it can end up being the best thing that ever happened to you - but also know that it might not amount to anything. As scary as trying anything new (doesn't have to be a relationship) can feel, you have to try to know how it plays out. It's like playing the lottery - you gotta play to win. If you would have asked me a year ago, my advice would have probably been polar opposite. If you ask me next week, everything could have changed and it could very well be different too. But for today, I am urging you to leap.

Once again, my life has come down to being summed in a Sex & The City quote...

 

Mondays are not my friend

I'm usually a morning person, but today is just NO. It's rainy and cold and I want to go back to bed. Probably has nothing to do with the fact that I stayed up way too late last night watching the Oscars... Ellen was the best host ever and I can't remember a time I enjoyed the actual show that much. Her super star selfie (#blessed, #Oscars) completely broke Twitter down for a hot minute from so many RTs.

 

Speaking of Oscars, can we just discuss on Jared Leto for a minute? Some of my long time readers might remember this, but do y'all remember when my ex-fiancé had long hair and I hated it? So weird because I just so happen to be completely in love with Jared Leto and his long luscious ombre hair.

 

I gotta give my best dressed to Kate Hudson. She looked so glamorous and movie star-ish, perfect for the Oscars. I could probably never in my life pull off that plunging neckline, but I love that look. It's so sexy!

 

Things I should be excited about today:

- I lost 5 lbs

- I have a hot date with Adam Levine tonight
- Kickball spring season starts this week

- I'm wearing fur... how can you be a Debbie Downer when wearing fur? #selfie

 

So now I've essentially talked myself into being happy today! Thanks for the pep talk friends

5 on a Friday

{ONE}

I'm finally going to the eye doctor next week! I say finally because I've been meaning to make this eye doctor appointment for about 10 years now. I'm still rocking my old glasses from when I was 19. Yeah....time for new ones. And I am in love all things with Warby Parker. I want these! We'll see what I can actually pull off though...

Seymour in Tennessee Whiskey



{TWO}

I'm mildly obsessed with Dierks Bentley right now. He is CUTE and somehow I never really recognized this. Anyone who goes on WWHL with Andy pretty much gets my seal of approval. Love his newest song - I Hold On too!

I hold on, to the things I believe in. My faith, your love, our freedom. To the things I can count on to keep me going strong.

{THREE}

5am Club happened twice this week. I dare say it might stick this time. Even though I still find myself completely wanting to make excuses and bail. I'm going back to Zumba on Saturday for the first time in months...so I might die.

 

{FOUR}



Love the perspective in this video - I can't wait to read Jefferson Bethke's book!
 

{FIVE}

This cute little fella stole my heart this week. I want to adopt him!

This little boo is looking forward to a calm weekend after a hectic week. It's going to be sunny & 69 on Sunday, and everybody knows a sunny Sunday is just good for the soul. HAPPY WEEKEND!!! XOXO

My Top 5 Hottest Gay Guys

So last night I'm sitting there watching Watch What Happens Live, like a good little Bravoholic, and I just can't help thinking how much I love Andy Cohen. Which kinda led into me thinking about gay guys...and the ones women lost out BIG time by losing them to the other team. I know it's weird how my mind works, but it is what it is. No matter what your opinion is on gay people in general, you can't deny these fellas could make you do a double take. So here's my list of my top 5 hottest gay guys:

 

1. Andy Cohen - he's gotta be my #1! Even though he does have a little wonky eye goin' on...I would never hold that against him. I am SO into the salt & peppery hair and Andy has that covered! He loves baseball and celebrities...I think we would have plenty in common.

 

2. Matt Bomer - seriously, is this even real that he's gay? Say it ain't so! After Magic Mike, I was completely sold on his good looks. I mean his eyes!!!!! And with all the buzz about him potentially playing Christian Grey in 50 Shades I was googling him like a mad woman.

3. Wentworth Miller - COME ON!!! It's just not fair how HOT he is! I just found out about him a couple months ago and I was seriously a little sad. He deserves two pictures to justify the hotness. I never was into Prison Break, but he's very model hot.

4. Anderson Cooper - AKA the Silver Fox - again with the grey-ish hair...except he's more grey than -ish. He's one of those smart reporter guys who has a sharp sense of humor, I love it. Give me boys who love politics and are friends with Kathy Griffin!

5. Tom Daly - Olympic swimmer, English accent, hot body? Um check, check, check!  After this picture from the Olympics, I'm pretty sure we were all in love with him.

 

There you have it, my top 5 hottest gay guys. You're welcome for the eye candy today! And if you must know I had a runner up for the list: Tom Ford. Because who doesn't love a stylish man who can rock a nice suit and has a Jay-Z song named after him? (He has a very Ryan Reynolds look about him).

 

 

Side note: have I become SO SINGLE that I have now given up on straight guys and went straight to lusting over the gay ones?? Don't you dare judge me! Me and the men on my list have something in common, we are all looking for that perfect man.

Thursday Things To Love

Well it's Thursday and I love things so naturally it's time for another Thursdays Things To Love! By the way, thank you all for your incredible comments on the Overcome the Lie post Tuesday. It's been awesome to get your feedback and to see that I'm not alone in my struggles. I got more personal emails off that one than any other post I've done in a while. I love hearing from you though and seeing how we can help each other! It can be hard to be open and put ourselves out there, but it's so rewarding. How's that for an intro? hahaha

 

ID Vanilla Iced Coffee Light -

It's sooooo good! I prefer the vanilla one, but seriously you just plop in some ice cubes and ready to go. Easy and delish.

 

 

10K Trainer Run for PINK - free app-

Could be a little premature to say I love this app because truth be told, I haven't started it yet. But it's a 10k trainer for FREE so I love that about it. I'm going to start this weekend...I need my running stress relief back in my life. Thanks to Jordon for telling me about this one!

 

Katy Perry -

 

I have a giant girl crush on her! How could you not?? But when she partners up with one of my favorite TN boys, Juicy J, I love her even more! Juicy J was looking pretty fly at the Grammys too! Cannot stop singing this song - even after that witchy performance with pole dancing on brooms.

 

I just feel like we are missing a picture of a hot guy in this post...so here ya go. I've mentioned this before, but I'm going to share with you my newest love interest. Jesse Lee Soffer. I LOVE HIM!! You know I love a man in uniform...with a gun...2 guns...I'm dead... just does it for me.

 

Weekend Update

Even though it's Tuesday, it still feels like Monday! Yes, I'm a whiny baby today. I could REALLY get used to not having to work on Mondays. I feel like I'm a funk right now - a cloud of disorganization that is just killing my vibe. The bottom level of my house is still floor-less & door-less and it's driving me bonkers. I spent yesterday trying to get my kitchen back in order - as best I can right now, but it didn't really help me feel better. I've moved into my new office at work, but it still doesn't quite feel like mine yet. I just feel a little disheveled in all areas of my life.

 

But do you know what ALWAYS makes me a happy girl?

 

yep, Luke Bryan! And he did not disappoint Saturday night. We had so much fun! I want to go back and do it all again.

Don't mind me while I'm over here being a baby about having to work today. Only 18 more work days until the next holiday! WHOOO HOOOO!

Man Candy - Chicago Style

You've heard me talk about my love for Taylor Kinney before - AKA Severide from Chicago Fire. I mean, I just have no words for him. I love him. I want him to leave Lady Gaga and come running to me. Maybe I have a little thing for cute firemen....maaaaaybe that's why I've dated a couple of them. (I'm using the term dated VERY loosely here - no pun intended)

 

So since I've been on my Chicago Fire kick, I've been introduced to the new love of my life - Jesse Lee Soffer, who did a cameo on Chicago Fire & will be appearing on the new show Chicago PD.

 

So maaaaaybe it's not just cute fireman that I like....maaaaybe it's cute cops too? I was engaged to one, after all. But he wasn't a cop when I met him...ANYHOW - Jesse is my new crush. He's a doll! And yes I will probably be watching Chicago PD for him...and Scott Eastwood. (Clint Eastwood's hot son) Maybe I like cowboys? Or their sons? haha There's no rhyme or reason to my boys. I like them ALL! That's the great thing about being single.

 

So basically, my two favorite hot guys in the same city on back to back nights. I hope real life boys don't even try to get me out of my house for a date on Tuesdays or Wednesdays.

Probably won't happen. Who are your current crushes? Introduce me to more cute boys, please!



 

 

5 on a Friday



{ONE}

#Jimberlake round 2 is happening on Saturday night! I AM SO EXCITED!!! Set your DVRs kids, because you know we'll be quoting this one until they team up again.

{TWO}
I'm going to attempt this look this weekend....

{THREE}

Speaking of red & sparkly gold... let's all make this our goal this holiday season! I posted this on my IG yesterday and I needed to hear it. I'm mainly giving a motivational talk to myself because I have to go out and brave the holiday shopping crowds this weekend. Every year I say I won't be a last minute shopper and every year I am.

{FOUR}
I chopped my hair off last night. Holla if you love sassy hair! I used to be such a risk taker with my hair - I'd try crazy colors and cuts, granted now my big girl job limits me to these risks. But my hair is fine y'all. Not like DAAAAYYYMN fine, but baby hair fine. When it's long it gets stringy and ratty. So I chopped it. We mixed up the colors a bit too, just hard to tell in that pic. It's all dark underneath. I love it!

{FIVE}
You know we all love this song!

I won't be posting again until the after Christmas so MERRY CHRISTMAS everybody!! I love you all SO MUCH more than you know and I'm so blessed with your friendships this year. Thank you for reading my crazy stories and loving me anyhow!!