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Thursday, May 21, 2015

This & That

Long time, no see guys! I have to admit that life has been pretty hectic lately. Between work, church things, the boyfriend and friends - I barely have time to get enough sleep these days. But don't let me fool you into thinking I'm not ridiculously happy right now! Life is pretty great.

Mother's Day has come and gone and honestly I'm glad it's over. It was difficult for me and I wrestled with the anxiety for about two weeks leading up to it. It's just a part of what comes after losing your mama - the holidays, birthdays, family occasions, etc. will be difficult, especially the first time around. Now that people have moved on with their own lives and aren't constantly checking on me, I'm left not really knowing how to feel sometimes or how to act with how I'm feeling about not having my mama around. My heart has been a little heavy throughout the process trying to cope, but yet still trying to look for the positive that can come from this situation. I am so thankful for bloggers (Katie, Jennifer) who, unfortunately, have gone through this loss before me and have helped me to know what to expect through their writing. The Lord has been SO GOOD to surround me with people who are nurturing and supportive of me, some of them in the smallest ways they probably don't even realize.

One thing that's been convicting me so much since Mother's Day is that I am my mother's legacy. I was her first born child, her only daughter and probably the child that was the least close to her ultimately, but I am still her legacy. I want to talk more about that soon, but not right now. (Heavy Topic Alert!)

Let's get caught up!

Two weeks ago I saw NEEDTOBREATHE, Drew Holcomb & Ben Rector in concert - so so good!

You like how I drop the BOYFRIEND bomb and then just peace out? A little suspense never killed nobody!! Announcing your relationship is official on the blog can feel like the kiss of death. But so far...boyfriend and I are good. So amazingly crazy good. (Pretty sure he doesn't read my blog, so I could literally gush about him for days, but I'll spare you.) You should just rest assured that I have not felt like this in a long, long time, years. Like since the Skye era. Knowing that it could all blow up in my face tomorrow is scary, but remembering what it feels like to be a smitten little kitten is worth it. Insert ALL of the heart eye emojis.


I apparently cannot get enough of TSwift and all the things she does. Anybody else completely in love with this song??

Finished Amy Poehler's Book Yes Please. I knew she wouldn't disappoint, but I was laughing out loud most of the time. My favorite part?

I've been partaking in quite a few happy hours lately. When spring rolls around and work days get long I really have to admit that I love to unwind on a patio with a cold adult beverage. Judge me, if you must.


Speaking of The Countess... I am so obsessed with the current RHONY season. I'm a little behind since life has kept me from DVR binging as much as I'd like to, but I just can't get enough of this cast. I think it's the best cast they've had in a long time! (Maybe minus Dorinda, not crazy about her.)

I can't promise that I will be posting very regularly throughout the summer, but you know I won't be able to keep my mouth shut for too long. In the mean time, I'm always available for stalking on Instagram & Twitter if you need more frequent life updates.

XOXO

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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Look Before You Leap...Or Something Like That

Writing posts about dating has never been difficult for me. Sometimes it makes me cringe to look back at certain things I've said in posts, but I can say that my dating posts have been accurate descriptions of where I'm at in my life. It's kinda cool to be able to look back over the past two years of singleness  documented here on my corner of the internet and see how things have progressed. I do love an honest update. So now how to describe where my dating life is currently...


Earlier this week would have been my two year wedding anniversary if Skye and I would have gone through with getting married back in 2012. Honestly, I didn't even feel the date coming on this year. I was reminded by Timehop (dang you, Timehop!). I didn't even cry. It just felt very strange. Very much like remembering something from a movie I watched years ago, instead of feeling like an experience I actually lived through. I'm in a good place with that baggage right now. Parts of that story will always be hard for me, but that's okay because I truly wouldn't want to forget. The most recent ex-boyfriend baggage is in a decent place too. It felt like we were in a stage of limbo for the past couple of months - trying to be "friends" and remain on good terms since we go to church together, yet not really being sure how to make that happen. We got to a place last week where we decided we can't be friends, and honestly I'm okay with that. AND the best news...drumroll please...I actually have a new boyfriend!! Not just someone I have a crush on, but a full blown boyfriend. I am SMITTEN and things are really good right now. It makes me so excited to feel this way again, but I'm also trying to keep myself grounded. Which if I'm being honest, is really hard to do! Especially with a boyfriend as hot as mine! :)

Dating does funny things to a 30 year old woman. It can drive  you batty, make you feel empowered, drive you to drink, or (like in my current situation) act like you've never been hurt a day in your life and just LEAP. It's much easier to allow yourself to become scarred by the battles you've faced. Been there, done that. Represented loud and proud, all day, erryday with my former black heart. That's not a fun state to live in! And it's not sustainable for someone who genuinely wants to settle down. Letting people in and being vulnerable is hard, but truly necessary work. Being that I am the ripe old age of 30, I am well acquainted with my strengths and weaknesses. I know the reasons that I would consider myself to be a great catch. But that doesn't mean that I will be everyone's cup of tea. Taking a leap in dating means that you have heighten awareness of these truths, but do not allow them to hold you back. It's a fine line that can really trip most of us up. With all that being said, I've had to come to terms with the fact that it is possible to take a leap and end up falling flat on my face. I think that fear is what holds us back most. Nobody wants to get their feelings hurt.


The evolution of my dating life is an interesting thing to study. Looking back, I see times when I should have stood my ground more and trusted my instincts. I see times when I probably shouldn't have been so overly guarded. I see mistakes, let downs, learning experiences, I see awesome stories - there's a lot to see in the dating life of a 28-30 year old!! The thing that is different for me right now is that I'm ready to take a leap. So... I'm taking a leap! Are there uncertainties? Absolutely yes. Do I have insecurities? Duh, They can feel crippling at times. It's okay to feel those things - and even better to push through them. I don't know what will happen here, but I know that I am trying to pray my way through it. I mean it when I say I want to settle down. I mean it when I say I'm ready. But I know ultimately it's not up to my timing. God knows the desires of my heart (I'm pretty persistent in telling him often), and He's the only one who knows how my story will unfold.

Remember my 2015 word? BELIEVE. I am choosing right now to believe this season of my life will serve a purpose. And I know it will. I believe that what God has planned for me is unable to be thwarted (how you like that word!!) - even by my own selfish, sometimes stupid, decisions.

My best dating advice today is to take that leap, friend. Jump in head first into the deep end. Believe that it can end up being the best thing that ever happened to you - but also know that it might not amount to anything. As scary as trying anything new (doesn't have to be a relationship) can feel, you have to try to know how it plays out. It's like playing the lottery - you gotta play to win. If you would have asked me a year ago, my advice would have probably been polar opposite. If you ask me next week, everything could have changed and it could very well be different too. But for today, I am urging you to leap.

Once again, my life has come down to being summed in a Sex & The City quote...



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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Thursday Thoughts

Beautiful Things

I sure needed to hear this right now. Reminder from Lysa TerKeurst this week:
"If there’s something Jesus needs to address with you, so be it. But remember, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Jesus doesn’t use the statements, “You always do this..” and “You never do that..” Jesus doesn’t use our situations against us. He simply brings truth to life and asks us to align with it."
 
Words are my love language - good morning texts, apologies and random compliments change the world, friends.
 
People on my Instagram keep asking me what kind of mascara I use: 3-in-1 by elf. My eyelashes are naturally long anyhow, but who would have thought a $3 mascara could be so good!! I'm a big fan of all of their products that I have tried. Can't beat that price either.
 
Last night I had my first meeting about going back to the Dominican Republic for a mission trip again this year! Excited doesn't even begin to describe it. I could end up spending the week of my birthday serving the Lord and honestly, there's nothing more I would want for my 31st. Pray for me so that I don't just make this commitment because it's something I want to do selfishly, but because I feel called to do it. (If you're new around here, you can read all about my trip last summer here.)
 
I'm dating again. Sometimes I feel like it's hard and sometimes I'm light hearted about it. Nothing too serious to report back right now, but I'm sure you can expect a new dating post soon. These stories must be told. My friend Jen had a weird one recently too!
 
Do you Influenster? If you don't, then you are missing out! Influenster allows you to test products for FREE, based on information you fill out about yourself. All you have to do is show them some love on social media and offer reviews. The most recent product I tested for them was these Neutrogena Naturals MakeUp Remover Wipes. LOVE them! They smell fantastic and leave my face feeling clean and refreshed and not dry. Great for post workout. Plus, Neutrogena is launching a #wipeforwater campaign to promote efforts to save water. A lazy girl makeup remover is the perfect way to get started!
 

I haven't seen the 50 Shades of Grey movie... but I am all about the soundtrack! Especially these two jams.
 

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Thursday, April 16, 2015

Thursday Thoughts

Beautiful Things

First off, thank you all from the bottom of my little heart for all your sweet comments on my last post about my mama. Yes, this time has been difficult but it's also been such a blessing to see the incredible community of people the Lord has placed in my path for this specific time and healing. Truly, I am in awe of the kindness that I have been offered. I'm telling you God is good ALL THE TIME!
 
I wore pants yesterday that I hadn't worn in almost 2 years. Talk about a non scale victory! I have been working my booty off and the progress is so encouraging!
 
Finally bought the Andy Cohen Diaries to read. I actually have a "to read" stack that's HUGE right now. I need to turn off the TV and get to page turning.
 
But Scandal though...  Also, I'm back watching Mad Men because I have to see what happens. And RHONY is back sooooo maybe eventually I'll get around to reading all my books.
 
Loved this read from Renee Fisher. This is a must read for anyone who missed the IF:Gathering this year and feels lost or stuck in the season of life you are in.

I'm going to make this pretty thing with my work girls next Friday night and I am stoked!

Happy Pre-Friday!
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