If you are an internet addict, like myself, then no doubt you've seen all the buzzfeed/blogposts/funny lists about being single. Reasons why it's awesome, reasons why it sucks, things single people are sick of hearing, etc. I am also constantly reading other blog posts about singledom. It's just good perspective. Since I've been single for 16 months now, I consider myself practically an expert in the field. I just wanted to share my own perspective on the subject.
Reasons Why Being Single Is Awesome:
1. I am independent. I thought I was independent before, I had actually said those words. HECK NO! I relied on my ex for every.single.thing. He completely took care of me and spoiled me rotten. Now? I fix things by myself, I rearranged all my living room furniture on my own, I handle every detail of my household, I buy my own Coach, I am hardly even scared of the dark anymore and somehow I make it ALL work. It's a pretty cool feeling.
2. My money is MY MONEY. I am not ashamed to admit that I am selfish with sharing my money. It was a huge adjustment for me when Skye and I moved in together to share my money with him. And honestly, I hated it. I was a saver and he was a spender. I struggled with it a lot throughout our relationship. There were plenty of times that being in a two income household benefited me (hello no budget status!), but usually it stressed me out. Sometimes I still get stressed out about money, but the thing now is I directly control every penny earned and spent. Obviously a control freak like myself loves that.
3. I have lived and learned. Nobody wants to go through a breakup. I sure didn't. But I can guarantee you that anyone who has ever gone through a real heartbreak has made some changes in their life. You suffer, you push yourself, you grow, you surround yourself with new people and try new things. It's an incredible life experience that prepares you for the next season. I never wanted to stay single for this long, but I'm really thankful I have made the choices along the way that have kept me in this place of stretching myself. This time on my own has allowed me to evaluate the kind of spouse that I want to be to someone. And I don't think I was ready for that before.
Reasons Why Being Single Sucks:
1. After a point, you start to feel like there is something wrong with you. When all the guys I've gone out with get into relationships, I question why I am still single. When my die hard single girlfriends partner up, I doubt myself. (Think Samantha from Sex in the City when she started dating Smith) It's easy to say WHY ME? But honestly, I've made the choice to be single. I could've had a boyfriend or two by now, but I didn't want to settle. And there's nothing wrong with not wanting to settle.
2. Creepers. Weird men love me! I can't even tell you how many random dudes send me Facebook messages or Twitter DMs trying to chat me up. Truthfully, I've entertained some of them because a cute guy is a cute guy. (and I've probably been a little creepy hitting on people before too) But I'm more so talking about the sketchy left field guys that randomly tell you how pretty you are. a) you've never seen me in person buddy b) I do not want to be your cyber girlfriend. BYE!
3. Putting on a happy go lucky front can get exhausting. My heart has softened so much and it's definitely no longer black. I try to stay positive about my status. It can get old playing the dating games. I still think being single requires a bit of a thick skin. You can get your hopes up after a first date just to never go out with a guy again. I've probably hurt a couple feelings myself along the way. You can't help but over analyze all the details of your dates sometimes. Right now I'm in a situation where I've kinda been talking back and forth with a guy - pretty casual - but we haven't been out on an actual date yet. I get excited sometimes because I like him, but if he hasn't asked me out on a date after a few weeks of talking then what's the deal, right? Being tough can get old, and I just want to meet my "you know when you know" already! But a positive attitude will really help carry you through this time.
Things I'm Sick of Hearing:
1. Why are you single? I realize that I'm a decent catch. Yeah I said it, and that's because I believe it. I'm not the prettiest girl on the block, but I feel I have a lot to offer. But when people ask me the question of why am I single, I tend to take it negatively vs. as a compliment. Let just clear this up for you... anyone who is single, is probably in that position because they are sick of making the wrong choices and have decided to take control of things in their life (in some form or another). Not that I don't need to hear reassurance sometimes, but there's a fine line with how things are said.
2. Do you ever think you and your ex will get back together? This is definitely a question that I get asked on a more than I'd like to hear basis. Maybe I'm surrounded by hopeless romantics?? The answer is no. I know "never say never" and all that jazz, but I'm pretty confident that hell would freeze over before we would end up back together. Mind you I chased after him and essentially begged him to stay and marry me. But at that point in my life, I felt like I was nothing without him. If you only knew me in real life, you would know how much I have changed and grown since that scared little girl who found herself dumped back in November 2012. And once you experience that kind of exponential growth, there's just no turning back.
3. Guys are jerks. It is surely a proven fact by now that some guys are indeed jerks. But so are some girls. (myself included in some cases) Not all guys are jerks - I've tried to convince you of that before. I still whole heartedly believe in THE ONE. This mythical little unicorn of mine is out there somewhere just waiting to run off into the sunset with me. But seriously, God has this incredible man for me. I can feel it. And ladies just a word of advice...THE ONE will not just text you when he is drunk. He will having zero reservations about falling completely in love with you. He will share your core beliefs. He will not push you to have sex...he might even be one of those rare breeds who wants to wait until you're married to go all the way. He will pursue you.
Here are some other lists that I found particularly entertaining: