Well I have to admit, reading my 39 week bumpdate this morning made me cry! (To be completely fair, making me cry is not a difficult task STILL! Hormones be damned!) That was my last pregnancy post, just two short days before my precious baby boy was welcomed into this world.
As of today, he's 39 weeks old. (I'm not really a "this many weeks old person" - so let's say he will be 9 months old on the 25th) I vividly remember being 20 weeks pregnant. The half way point! Just a few weeks after we found out he was going to be a baby boy. And now here we are, I've been back at work for 5 months and Cameron is almost 22 pounds of pure joy.
There are so many things that I want to say. So many stories I want to tell. I don't think I'm going to do a "birth story" post, but I'm sure in passing I will refer back to his birth day. I will say that I had a planned induction at 39w3d, and also ended up having to get an unplanned C-section due to complications. I have never been more anxious, terrified, excited, overwhelmed in my life!!!!! But it truly was an overall wonderful experience (thankfully), and ended up being the best day of my life when my angel baby Cameron Lee was born at 4:34 pm. He was 20.5 inches long and he weighed 8lbs. 11oz. He was within 2 oz. of the anticipated weight they told me at my last ultrasound and doc appointment just two days before he was born. I remember I was so amazed by how big he was, yet how tiny at the same time. I couldn't believe that I grew him in my belly!!!!!! Still amazes me. Probably more so now, as it feels like he literally grows bigger each passing day.
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| 11/25/16 Cameron's Birth Day |
Motherhood is so much more than I even dreamed it would be. He fills up my heart in ways that I could have never imagined possible. No one can prepare you for the way every single little thing about your baby makes your heart explode. I MADE HIM!!! I stay in awe of my child. For the first few months, I kept waiting on that feeling to fade. But nope, it just continues to grow more and more.
But don't get it twisted, motherhood is HARD!!! The first three weeks were the hardest for me. I struggled to adjust to having this baby at home that depended on me for everything. I cried to my husband when he was at work that I needed him to come home and just help me. Eventually, a few weeks in, I found my stride when Cameron started sleeping 4 hour stretches. (Sleep deprivation is NO JOKE!!!!) I agonized over the looming date that I would have to go back to work. I'm lucky that I was able to take 14 weeks off, but no amount of time would have felt like enough.
I've been back at work now for about 5 months. I spend some days counting down the hours until I get to see my sweet baby again. I still struggle with the balance of being a working mom. Some days I don't find the time to get everything done, and that's ok. (When it doesn't feel like it's ok, I remind myself that it really is ok)! I'm learning to live with that. I don't have my mom to help me navigate my first adventure in motherhood, and that creeps into my mind often. I know she would be absolutely crazy over Cameron.
But overall, I think I'm doing okay as mom! It's true what "they" tell you that babies don't keep. I have tears in my eyes right this very moment thinking about how it feels like just yesterday that tiny baby was born. I truly never realized how quickly the time passes until it was my little boy growing up before my very eyes. I try so hard to be present with him and not to take this time for granted. (again, some days I do better than others)
But don't get it twisted, motherhood is HARD!!! The first three weeks were the hardest for me. I struggled to adjust to having this baby at home that depended on me for everything. I cried to my husband when he was at work that I needed him to come home and just help me. Eventually, a few weeks in, I found my stride when Cameron started sleeping 4 hour stretches. (Sleep deprivation is NO JOKE!!!!) I agonized over the looming date that I would have to go back to work. I'm lucky that I was able to take 14 weeks off, but no amount of time would have felt like enough.
I've been back at work now for about 5 months. I spend some days counting down the hours until I get to see my sweet baby again. I still struggle with the balance of being a working mom. Some days I don't find the time to get everything done, and that's ok. (When it doesn't feel like it's ok, I remind myself that it really is ok)! I'm learning to live with that. I don't have my mom to help me navigate my first adventure in motherhood, and that creeps into my mind often. I know she would be absolutely crazy over Cameron.
But overall, I think I'm doing okay as mom! It's true what "they" tell you that babies don't keep. I have tears in my eyes right this very moment thinking about how it feels like just yesterday that tiny baby was born. I truly never realized how quickly the time passes until it was my little boy growing up before my very eyes. I try so hard to be present with him and not to take this time for granted. (again, some days I do better than others)
Isn't it crazy how our babies just take over our whole hearts?? What a blessing to be chosen as Cameron's mama!
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| 8 months old |
