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Thursday, September 13, 2012

It's been a stressful couple of weeks and I want to whine

Warning: this is a therapeutic post -
I am a planner, an organizer, a well balanced emotional kind of girl. (see also: semi-high strung) You guys know this about me, well if you're a new reader you might not, but now you do. It's just who I am. I enjoy being a planner-type, but I do wish I could be a more go with the flow type.
 
For example when life throws me a curve ball, I tend to become very stressed very quickly. I have some stressful things going on in my life right now - most of them you know about. Wrecking my car and having to deal with looking for a new one, planning a wedding in 7.5 months, an overloaded work schedule and now I find out something that makes all those things seem petty. I've debated on whether or not to share this... but I like to keep it real on my blog and this is something that is really happening in my life.
 
We found out last week that my mom has 2 cancer spots on one of her lungs. If you remember from my post here, my mom and I don't exactly have the best relationship. But she's still my mama. I don't agree with a lot of the choices my mom has made in her life, but I'm still her daughter and I still love her. Luckily, they think they can go in with surgery and take out a portion of her lung and she may not even be facing chemo treatments. We don't know all the answers yet. They have done scans to confirm that it has not spread to her brain, which is huge. My mom has smoked off and on her whole life. It's been one of her vices. She would quit for a year or so then start back, but I've always considered her a smoker. Thankfully, her prognosis is good right now we are basically waiting to find out the course of treatment. She's in good spirits, and for once in her life I think she realizes how important her health is. I probably won't mention it a lot other than to keep you posted on anything major.
 
I would consider myself very experienced in managing stress. I have been blessed to have a great life, but it has not been a without many struggles along the way.
 
What I really wanted to touch on today was how to deal with stress. We all have stress in our lives. It can come and go and sometimes it can just wear you down. There are positive and negative reactions to stress. One common negative reaction I have is to eat my feelings. Our negative reactions only make us feel worse and more down on ourselves. Here are some POSITIVE things that help me when I'm trying to eliminate stress or make myself feel better.
 
1. An ass kicking workout - working out is a HUGE stress relief for me. Nothing burns off a bad day at the office like sweating it out in the gym. Unfortunately, I have been slacking very much in this area so I definitely think that's why my stress has felt higher than normal lately.
2. Vent session - I have a few special people in my life who I can tell everything to and they would never judge me. Sometimes it just feels good to get things off your chest and whine about them. Hence, this post :)
3. Pray - I don't go to church every Sunday, but I do pray everyday. I know everyone tends to find religion during a stressful time. It's true that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
4. Keep a positive attitude - It's ok to break down and cry and even feel a little sorry for yourself. But you can't allow yourself to stay in that mindset. Even when you don't feel positive, fake it. I've said before that I'm a big fan of "Fake it until you make it".
 
What are some of your most effective ways to deal with stress?

36 comments:

Katie said...

Oh girl, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! I hope that the surgery removes everything and she doesn't have to do chemo. I will be praying! As for the stress, I do the same things you listed. Working out works best for me!

Whitney @ I Wore Yoga Pants said...

Oh man, life is testing you big time girl. So sorry. :/
I'm a big meditator, as strange as it sounds. Sit in quite for 5 minutes with your eyes closed - inhale for 5 seconds in and out for 5 seconds all while clearing your mind of all thoughts.

Sounds a little funky, but you'd be amazing at how much more balanced you'll feel.

Nikki said...

Girl I am so sorry to hear about your momma! I will be praying for you and your family!

Looks like you have great ways of dealing with stress all the same ways I deal!

xoxo

Whitney Leigh said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! :( that is so scary. I will definitely keep y'all in my prayers and thoughts.

working out is a huge stress reliever, but usually when I'm stressed I just go curl up in a ball under a mountain of blankets. the thought of the gym makes me want to throw up. ha.

I've had a bunch of crap going on lately and this is so weird, but getting on the quote section of pinterest is a huge stress reliever for me. It's like, the internet is giving me a pep talk. ha! so weird...

Cami said...

Oh girl. We must have the same life.
Crazy work. Wedding planning.
Just found out yesterday V's mom has colon cancer.
But you're right - praying is the first thing we should do...God has got it ALL under control..He is a Mighty Healer and He has got this.
I love you. If you need me, I'm here for you oxoxoxo

Mallory Castleberry said...

I am so sorry. I will be praying for you and your mama. Just remember that in all the chaos you need to take time to breathe and have a you time.

CALLIE said...

So so sorry to hear about your Mom. I will be praying for her and your relationship. God's testing you right now, for sure, but you've got this :)

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

I hate hearing about cancer diagnosis...our family has been through 4 and it hurts everytime. It sounds like they caught it early enought that she will beat it in no time, still such a scary, unknown disease.

Close or not, I know it's a hard situation.

My #1 stress reliever is a good night on the dance floor. It always always makes me feel better!!

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxo

jess said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm sending big ::hugs:: your way. I love your stress relief tips. We can all use a little reminder. Take some quiet time for yourself too. Thanks for sharing this with us. :)

megan said...

Sorry to hear about your mom! You said it best - even though your relationship may not be perfect, she is still your mom. :) Praying & gym sessions seem like the perfect combination to deal with stress!

Stephanie @ bourbon and glitter said...

So sorry to hear about your mom - regardless of your relationship, I do hope that she comes out of this unscathed and realizes the importance of her life (and you!)
I agree with your tips! I think my biggest one, since I'm also an organizational control freak, is to fix something I can control. Seriously, I might be crazy but if I'm stressed, I reorganize my shoes or closet or dishes. I feel such a sense of calm when it's done!

keepingupwithkristen said...

So sorry to hear about your mama : ( I'll definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. He is the ultimate healer and He already knows what the outcome is...now you've just gotta trust in Him. Your stress relievers are perfect. Stay busy. I always get the most upset when I sit around and have time to think about stuff...my anxiety usually ends up getting the best of me! Keep your head up, pretty girl!!!

lori said...

im so sorry about your mama! hope that the surgery is successful and she doesn't have to go through chemo.

those are all great ways to deal with stress... i am the exact same way... a planner, organizer, type a personality. what i do to de-stress usually involves wine, blogging and a long bath :)

Kate said...

So sorry to hear about your Mom! Thinking of you. I'm horrible with handling stress and emotions. I had a reallly bad night last night, and have been toying with the idea of writing about it. I'm so used to keeping everything in and just moving on, and then eventually blowing up at anyone or anything.

TheTinyHeart said...

I'm really sorry to hear this about your mom. You've got a lot to handle right now. I hope writing this post about it and getting it off your chest was a stress reliever in itself!

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Enter my scarf giveaway!(open internationally)

Christine Pettijohn said...

Sorry to hear about your mom and cancer. That is no fun. Hope they get it all and she gets better.

poptartyogini said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and I'm praying for a positive outcome. Scary stuff. I think your tips for handling stress are spot on. I hope your vent post made you feel a little better!!

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry about your mom, I hope for the best and will keep her in my prayers!! That's a very tough thing to go through. I loved reading about the ways you cope with stress. I struggle with that as well! It is important to vent to friends and also just to take care of yourself and keep positive thoughts in your head! Thanks for sharing lady :)

xoxo

Sarah @ It's a Vol said...

Sorry to hear this! I'll be praying for your momma!

Charlotte said...

Vent girl vent! I do the same things you do when I am stressed. Sometimes you just gotta run it off!!

So sorry to hear about your mom. I will be keeping her on my prayer list. you also know I am right there with you with the wedding planning! You can do it, hang in there!

Sarah said...

Thinking of you and your mother, Nikki. I know that's hard news to hear no matter the prognosis or your relationship with her. Also, I have immense faith in you - because you are a planner and an organizer you're precisely the person who comes out of chaos on top. You can do whatever is laid before you - chin up!

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Aw hon, I am so sorry about your mom, I'm keeping her in my thoughts. Sounds like they found it in time, though, so hopefully it'll be over before you know it.

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

I am 3 hours away and if you need me I would drive to you! Hugs!

JMc said...

Wow, so sorry to hear this news. I will keep you in my prayers during such a stressful time!

Jamie said...

I am really sorry about your Mom. Hang in there. Sending positive thoughts.

Jess Casey said...

You and your mom will def be in my prayers. Unfortunately I have become some what of a pro in dealing with lifes true curve balls such as this one. I thoroughly believe that there is a reason for everything. Whether we like it or not. Praying, staying positive and having a great support group are the things that help me through tough times. I've got a feeling that you've got all those thing in your tool box :) Hugs!

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

oh no! im so sorry about your mom! sending prayers your way! when im super stressed its bad but I shop - it always takes my mind off of the stress. Or i vent! if you need to vent text me lover!! cheer up tho ur bday is almost here! XO

Lily Anne said...

Sending love and prayers your way. I know how hard it is, but wanted to say, you have the right brought you to it and He'll bring you through it as well. Keep that in your heart and remember that Jesus loves you. I know from experience God will see you through this. All my best.

Makaila said...

oh girl, thinking of you and good wishes being sent right Now from Oregon to you! sometimes, when things get really hectic, literally, I just take it hour by hour, day by day. do what needs to get done and try not to look too far ahead.. thinking of you!

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Nikki. Like you said, although you might not have the best relationship, your mom is family. Hoping for a positive outcome!

I obviously agree with you about a kickass workout. Do you do yoga at all? When I am STRESSED to the max, I hit up the 8pm yoga session at my gym and feel SOOOOOOOO UNBELIEVABLE afterwards. I know it's silly, but I feel like the stressful toxins are literarily lifted from my body.

Thinking of you :-)

Faith said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. It is so hard. Cancer really sucks. I'm sending positive thoughts. And no matter how bad of a relationship you have with a person it is still so horrible to watch someone suffering from cancer. So hard.

Thinking of you.

Dreams Do Come True said...

Prayer is the best for anything. I also talk to my fiance and he helps me a lot.

I follow your blog and would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like.

http://happilyeverafter-tiffany.blogspot.com/

smk053078 said...

The Lord doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. I am so sorry for all that is going on in your life right now. Please keep us posted on your mom. I am sending big hugs to you now!!

Megan Wait said...

Oh no, I'll pray for your mother! Cancer is such a horrible shit awful thing. Hoping everything goes great in the future.

On another note, I couldn't imagine not having a relationship, or a bad one for that matter, with my mom. I am such a mommy's girl! Perhaps this is God's way to help you two mend your difficult relationship?

Kristin said...

Praying for your momma

Sunkissed and Southern said...

I'm so sorry. Great list at the bottom!! Prayers;)