Friday's Letters

 

Happy Friday y'all! My girl Heather from RHONY couldn't have said it better! HOLLA!

 

Dear friends - Thank you guys again for another week of well wishes, prayers and support! I wouldn't be doing as well as I am right now without it. I mean it! XOXOXOXOX Dear girls night tonight - I can't wait to get drunk have fun with my homegirls while we make glitter wine glasses! I'm so excited. I'm sure it will look like a glitter bomb went off in my house but hey that's what girl's nights are all about, right?

Dear Zumba - I can't wait for our date bright & early Saturday morning for a little ass kicking. If you guys haven't tried Zumba yet, you need to. It's like a dance party but a workout. We do the wobble dance at my Zumba class and I always leave feeling like I left the club. Dear Duck Dynasty - I could not love you more if I tried. I literally watched 4 back-to-back episodes last night and laughed my butt off. Out loud. In the dark in my house with only the Christmas lights on. That's not weird is it?

 

Dear my new single lady budget status - I hate your guts. Being on a budget is no fun! I'm gonna have to start going on dates just to eat! (I'm totally kidding...sort of). Dear dirty hair - I'm so glad that my best girl Kelly introduced me to you! My hair is lucky if it gets washed once every 4 days now. Dear Vols - Are we going the Jon Gruden route or no for our coach? I'm just so confused! If I get a vote, then I say yes because he's kinda cute. Freckles, anyone?

Happy Friday loves!

Oh, How Pinteresting!

 

Happy Hump Day!

If you like what you see, you can find me here on Pinterest.

Source: Jade Martinez via http://www.what-the-frock.com/2012/01/pinspiration-black-and-brown.html

Source: Lindsay Judd via https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=479495115435373&set=pb.368547283196824.-2207520000.1353531199&type=3&theater

Source: Angie via http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi0zN2VkOTI1MmZkZDlhNWU2

Source: Lauren Myrick via http://pinterest.com/about/goodies/

Source: Tara via http://ilovejewelryauctions.myshopify.com/collections/handmade-initial-necklaces/products/initial-necklace-gold

Source: Lisa Ball via http://www.ilovelowie.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=55_57&products_id=624

Source: Shasta Marie via http://saintsandliars.tumblr.com/post/27560516885/muffincheeks93-yeahh-my-motto

Source: Ryan Miller via http://freshpickedwhimsy.typepad.com/fresh_picked_whimsy/2012/11/wise-words-from-an-elf.html

Now you know how we like to end OHP Wednesdays, with looking a super sexy man. Typically, that's LB for me!
Source: Meghan Moloney via http://countrygirlsworldd.tumblr.com/

Music for Your Soul

Last week I received a super sweet little love package in the mail from my girls Cassie & Kim. It was a precious note from them telling me how awesome I am and a perfect mix cd to shake off my breakup blues. I wanted to share with you guys some of the songs on there that I've been listening to non-stop. It helps to power through these kinds of things with music sometimes.

 

1. NSYNC - Bye, Bye, Bye

I cracked up when I heard this was the first song on the cd. But really it's so fitting! I've always been an NSYNC girl {hello Justin Timberlake!} so it really took me back to when I was younger. Plus, it's just a fun song.

 

2. Joan Jett- I Hate Myself For Loving You

Self explanatory here. Joan Jett is awesome and she can help a girl get pissed off!

3. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger
Power ballad for a girl with a broken heart. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Kelly is speaking to my soul.

4. Pat Benetar - Heartbreaker
Both of my parents are big fans of Pat, so I grew up listening to her music. Again, the rock music definitely helps to channel some anger and I like it!

5. Cee Lo Green - F*ck You
This one made me laugh too, but I love it!

These are just a few of my favorites from this awesome mix. I love those girls for thinking of me! What you're favorite kind of music to channel your emotions??

Weekend Update

My four days off actually felt like a mini vacay. It was very refreshing. I had some low moments of weakness for sure, but family time, friend time and wine time always helps to fix those kinda things. I actually ate meals this weekend like a normal person. I got some killer black Friday deals. The Vols actually won a game! I got my Christmas decorations up in the house and took down Skye's pictures. Which at first, I was hesitant to do but I'm so glad I did both. The Christmas decorations really helped to brighten my spirits!

 

I'm working on getting myself ready for the 2013 Nikki. I logged on to MyFitness Pal app this morning and it told me that I've lost a total of 43 lbs since I started my weight loss journey back in March 2011. Holy Shit! I honestly didn't know that I had 43 lbs. to lose! My ultimate goal is 5 more, but I'm really happy with where I am now. I will do a before and after post soon and show you some lovely chubby pictures. Those are always fun!

 

You can find me and follow along with my insanity on Instagram at {nikkib918}.

 

I came home Wednesday night to TWO much needed little pick-me-up packages from some of my very favs!
Erin, Kim, & Cassie I love you girls! Thank you for being you!
PS - I totally devoured all of those Sour Patch kids! :)

Only back where I come from do they have Coon Clubs...Gotta love being from the country!

Much needed wine after a fun filled family Thanksgiving

Best Sign Ever leaving the car wash yesterday

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around my house - and I love it!

 

A Thankful Thanksgiving

This is the time of year when we all reflect on our blessings in life. Where we surround ourselves with close friends & family who can fill our hearts with love. This holiday season will be tough for me – not gonna lie. Life has handed me both the best & worst times of my life – awkwardly rolled into the same year. I was on Cloud 9 earlier in the year when Skye and I got engaged and I began to plan our wedding. Then just a couple weeks ago everything came crashing down and now I’m facing the holidays as a single girl. Christmas was a special time for us because that’s when we first met, and then rekindled a year after we first met. Our 8 year anniversary would have been on December 15th. I'm sure I will struggle this season with not having him around.

 

I wanted to take a moment during this time of chaos in my life to celebrate the things that I am very thankful for. These are just a few…

• The opportunity to fall in love with someone so completely for 8 years. All the memories & lessons that came from our relationship. The lessons that will come from the breakup. The chance to feel like that about someone. (that was HARD to write, it made me tear up, but so true!) {You can read about our love story here- part 1, part 2, part 3, engagement story.}
• My dad’s good health this year. He went through a quadruple by-pass last December and now has a clean bill of health.
• Even though my mom and I don’t have the best history with our relationship, I am trying to be more patient and kind to her. Her health is not in the best place these days with her lung cancer so I am trying not to waste our time together. We have been talking more often.
• My job. I’ve been able to travel and grow in my field this year. I’ve been rewarded for my hard work. It feels good to know that I am doing a good job for my company. I work for a good company that pays me to do a job that I enjoy (most of the time!).
• My best friends. We have supported each other a lot this year. Most of them I have known since childhood. They are amazing women, and I honestly am a better woman because I am surrounded by them. They accept me & love me in spite of my flaws. They laugh the ugly laughs and cry the ugly cries with me.
• Friends who have left me. I’m oddly thankful for “fake friends” or friends who have  left my life because it helps me to appreciate the good ones who are always there. If you judge me, then I don’t need you. Period.
• My dogs – Tilly & Sadie. They are such dolls. Tilly gets a little more attention on the blog than Sadie, but my heart swells with love for them both. They are my little pick-me-ups at the end of every day.
• My faith in God. I am not the most religious person out there. You won’t find me in church every Sunday. But my faith in God is strong and unwavering. I have been through a lot in my life, and always He is there to make me whole again. I am thankful He is a forgiving God, who always loves me.
• My blog. Oh, what a perfect outlet this has grown into for me! I’ve said it before, but it’s so true how blessed I feel to be acquainted with all you wonderful ladies! The support is never ending. Blogging helps me spew my feelings and my random pictures, but also helps me realize the bigger world out there. The fact that I’m not alone in any situation because someone else has lived it and more importantly survived it AND they are willing to talk to me about it.
• New beginnings. I’m not quite ready to be thankful for this yet…but I’ll get there.
• Just for giggles, I'm adding Diet Coke. I have lived on Diet Coke for the past couple of weeks so I'm thankful for the pep it has provided me.

I hope that everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving with the ones you love! Eat until the buttons on your pants bust open! XOXO!


 

Weekend Update

Happy Monday! And it's sad that when I say that I actually mean it these days. This weekend was heads and shoulders above last weekend for me. Got my hair done Friday night which also was therapy time for me. So I left feeling a little better and having new hair! I kept myself so busy on Saturday and it felt really good. I got my carpets cleaned upstairs in my house Saturday morning, my daddy came over and hooked up my washer/dryer, saw Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 (wow - I'm so sad it's over!), then barely had time to straighten up my house before my girls came over for girl's night Saturday. Yesterday we had planned to go hiking but everyone was a bit tired from a late night so I opted for a lazy day. I watched movies and cuddled with Tilly. Of course I still had sad moments - especially yesterday while my mind wasn't busy - but I'm really trying to hang in there and be positive. The horrible fact of the weekend was the Tennessee game - OMG, terrible and so embarrassing! Looks like we are on the lookout now for a new football coach.

 

You can find me on Instagram {nikkib918}.

Love this new color - it's Flirt! (thank you to the beautiful Carley for getting it for me for my birthday!)

Hands down, my favorite picture of the night - I love candid shots!

Starting girl's night with a giant bottle of Moscato...we actually ended up going through 2 bottles before we even left the house.

shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots

cuddling with my sweet girl yesterday

Can I just say that I have some of the best girlfriends ever? They have been so sweet with checking on me and staying in touch with me during this time. It just warms my heart!

 

Here's to a short work week!

Friday's Letters

Dear Friday's Letters - I've missed you! Dear Hair Appointment Tonight - there are certain things in a girl's life that just make her feel good & pretty. Getting my hair done is one of those things for me. I'm not sure what I will do color wise, but I need a little pick me up! Dear Jeans That I'm Wearing Today - I heart you! I haven't been able to wear  you in years. Silver Lining #1 post breakup: fitting into old clothes due to losing weight. Dear Weekend - please be kind to me. Last weekend was very bad and I could really use a good one. Let's just try to be productive and maybe have a little fun! Dear $1 Large Diet Cokes from McDonald's - thank you for being my fuel lately. I have been living on you and as a girl on a newly formed budget, my wallet thanks you too. (Hopefully my teeth won't be too mad at me with all the dark coke). Dear friends - Thank you AGAIN so much for your support! I am so blessed to have "met" you all and that you care about me! Dear Tilly - you are adorable - what do y'all think of her new haircut and sassy Thanksgiving bandana??? She has been mama's constant cuddle bug and BFF lately.

 

Happy Weekend!

 

Post Mortem

To my dear sweet friends who are still sticking around and reading my blog after 2 weeks of instability....thank you for being there. I cannot give you enough thanks for the support that you have shown me. It brings me to tears. I started blogging because I wanted to be a part of this community; and trust me when I say I was overwhelmed by my all my lovelies who reached out to me and offered me stories of support or words of kind encouragement. I love being a part of this blog world where we can help empower and lift each other up when someone needs that. YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!

 

I think I am alive. I am hovering around rock bottom these days. It's been 11 days since Skye broke off our engagement my heart. The ring is no longer in my possession, my face is constantly stained with tears and I've lost 7 lbs. My heart is raw and aching. Nothing kicks a girl in the ass like a heartbreak. But like my girl Beyonce said, I'm a survivor. This will be a long hard road ahead of me, but I need to accept the fact that my life is moving in a different direction than I ever thought possible. <Insert pinterest quotes here>.

 

This little gem has helped me. Each day I am challenged and I cry, but each day I must continue on. Tilly & Sadie need their mama! (yes, I kept both dogs)

 

I trust that in time I will see the path that is meant for me. I will be able to see the error in my ways in this relationship and will be able to flourish fully in my next. I will one day be able to love again without fear of losing everything. I am thankful for that day already.

 

But for now, I just have to get by and that's what I plan to do. Fake it until you make it the name of my game friends. So back to blogging is the plan to help me keep this little crazy mind busy.

 

There's actually a pretty exciting little Southern blogger meet up in the works that I'm looking to throw myself into planning. If you are a Southern gal - keep your eyes peeled for the big news about this soiree!!

 

MIA

 

Hi loves - I know I have been MIA for over a week now, so I just wanted to pop in and give you a bit of an explanation for my absence. There's no easy way to sugar coat it so I'm just going to spill it. Skye and I are breaking up. This decision was made on Sunday - the night I got home from Iowa- so needless to say my world has been quite the confusing place lately. It's not his fault at all, in fact it's completely mine. I'm the one to blame and my actions have caused this backlash. It's his decision to split, but it's based on me. He really has done no wrong. We are both heartbroken and trying to find ways to deal with this absolute tragedy. I plan on taking a bit of an extended absence from social media - blogging, Instagram, Facebook, maybe even Twitter until all this calms down a little bit. It's just too hard to keep up with right now when my mind is in an absolute fog.

 

I've been telling myself all the bullshit cliche things: It will get easier with time. Things will work out in the end. If it's meant to be then we will end up back together. Pinterest has offered me some helpful mantras too. But nothing can fully soothe my aching heart right now. Even though I love my readers and I truly appreciate your support - I can't bear to read your comments and feel you feeling sorry for me so I'm going turn comments off on this post. Don't feel sorry for me. Yes I'm going through a hard time, we all go through hard times. And we all come out stronger because of them. Breakups suck. Losing my absolute best friend and the person I thought I was going to marry in 5 months absolutely sucks. I pray for strength, guidance, peace - I'm just praying alot.

 

The good news is Skye and I are being very civil to make sure this will not turn into a terrible ugly breakup. My family & friends have been so supportive and amazing, checking on me each day to make sure I'm still getting up and going. Work has been a true blessing because it keeps my mind busy during the days. He moved out yesterday so I'm absolutely dreading this weekend alone. But the first weekend will be the hardest and hopefully they will get easier from there. I am throwing myself into cleaning my house from top to bottom and reorganizing everything. I am more determined than ever now to FINALLY go through with my damn master bathroom redesign. I need a change, change is good. And of course I have my precious pups to keep me sane.

 

I don't know where we go from here. I'm sure I will get back into blogging, just not sure when. I miss reading about your lives, but I just need some time to get my life back on track. Thank you to those of you who have already reached out to me asking me where I've been. I thank God for my blog friends who have been just as supportive as my real life friends!