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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Post Mortem

To my dear sweet friends who are still sticking around and reading my blog after 2 weeks of instability....thank you for being there. I cannot give you enough thanks for the support that you have shown me. It brings me to tears. I started blogging because I wanted to be a part of this community; and trust me when I say I was overwhelmed by my all my lovelies who reached out to me and offered me stories of support or words of kind encouragement. I love being a part of this blog world where we can help empower and lift each other up when someone needs that. YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!
 
I think I am alive. I am hovering around rock bottom these days. It's been 11 days since Skye broke off our engagement my heart. The ring is no longer in my possession, my face is constantly stained with tears and I've lost 7 lbs. My heart is raw and aching. Nothing kicks a girl in the ass like a heartbreak. But like my girl Beyonce said, I'm a survivor. This will be a long hard road ahead of me, but I need to accept the fact that my life is moving in a different direction than I ever thought possible. <Insert pinterest quotes here>.
 
This little gem has helped me. Each day I am challenged and I cry, but each day I must continue on. Tilly & Sadie need their mama! (yes, I kept both dogs)
 
I trust that in time I will see the path that is meant for me. I will be able to see the error in my ways in this relationship and will be able to flourish fully in my next. I will one day be able to love again without fear of losing everything. I am thankful for that day already.
 
But for now, I just have to get by and that's what I plan to do. Fake it until you make it the name of my game friends. So back to blogging is the plan to help me keep this little crazy mind busy.
 
There's actually a pretty exciting little Southern blogger meet up in the works that I'm looking to throw myself into planning. If you are a Southern gal - keep your eyes peeled for the big news about this soiree!!
 
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57 comments:

Cassie said...

hugs hugs and more hugs!!

Busy Becka said...

Best blog I've read all day. I admire your rawness and honesty. Keep reminding yourself that as crazy as it seems and as awful as it seems right now, this is Gods plan for you! and although we may not understand why we just have to except that it is. Chin up buttercup. Xo-Becka

Stephanie said...

I'm so glad you're back, I was getting lonely without you and Tilly. I need some furry photos asap. Yes, I make your post all about me. It's why you heart me right?! You're my favorite girlie! No matter what.

Mallory Castleberry said...

It will get better girl, keep your chin up!

Nikki said...

Girlfriend I am so so sorry that you are going through this. Remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You have been missed and I am so so glad your back!

Whitney @ I Wore Yoga Pants said...

You know I love you. You know you always have me to talk to. You are doing so much more amazing than you even know! <3

Lauren said...

You are such a strong woman! You will get through this. I'm glad you are back to blogging! And a southern blog meeting would be FAB!! Girls night!! :D just what you need.

CALLIE said...

Hugs and Prayers being sent your way sweet friend.

Katie said...

oh girl, I am so sorry! I had no idea :( I feel horrible. Please please please feel free to email me whenever you need to talk. I'm not sure what happened, or if you'd want to talk about it, but my prayers are with you! You have Tilly and I know she will help you get through this!

Sarah said...

Hi Nikki! New(er) follower here. Keep your head up... I'm sending a webhug your way! There is a plan in place for you and this is just one little part of it. Keep up the blogging to get all those emotions out! :)

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

I heart you sister!!! Can I pretend I am a southern blogger?! Pretty Please?!

Kalie said...

I'm good at the fake it until you make it game too. You can do it, just keep moving forward little by little. Hugs!

Wine and Summer said...

Hang it there girlie! It will get better!! Thinking of you! xoxo

megan said...

I totally missed the previous post and my heart is totally aching for you (even though you told us not to feel bad for you, it's only natural!). I am always here if you need to chat!!

Britt said...

I'm SO sorry for what has happened. You will get through this, I know it! Absolutely thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.

Sarah Beth said...

Thinking of you, sweet girl! My bf and I broke it off last summer and I lost a ton of weight... we're back together now and I always joke that heartbreak was the best diet plan I'd ever been on! :)

ps. so glad you got to keep the babies!

Jordan said...

I am so sorry! I truly hope you hold on to your strength. Be patient and His plan will unfold eventually. P.S. So glad you kept the dogs!

Faith said...

I've been thinking and praying for you.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important. Please tell me you get that, hehe :)

But in all seriousness (is that a word?) You are going to get through this. You are a strong woman and beautiful inside and out. You have an amazing future and I'm excited to see all that you are going to accomplish.

And glad you kept both doggies! ;)

xoxo

Sami said...

Sending you loves! You're going to come out of this so much stronger on the other side! Here if you need ANYTHING xoxo

Heather Davidson said...

Sending hugs your way!

Sarah said...

Glad to hear your voice back on the blog - it was a bad kind of quiet with you gone :). I'm also glad you're doing forward motion things - it's the right direction! I only wish I still lived in the South :)

Ashley said...

((hugs)) glad you're back.

Katie said...

Glad your back. Hope things are getting better for you. I can't imagine the pain you have experienced recently, but you a beautiful and strong girl you can do this!!

Thinking of you! Stay busy girl.

tara said...

Hugs!!!! xoxo

LeeLee said...

I usually don't comment, but in this case I shall send you virtual hugs from afar. I know you already know this, but things will get better. I love that you put Proverbs 31:25. It's so great. again... *hugs*

Danna said...

Big hugs being sent your way, Nikki. xo

Mrs.B said...

lots of hugs and good thoughts sent your way. You are strong.

Aly said...

So sorry, I can only imagine how tough this is. Thinking of you!

Whitney Leigh said...

I love you. I've kept you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm here for you always, as is the rest of the blogging community.

Briana@SweetCGrace said...

Lots of hugs, sweet girl! I won't post any cliched words, since they lose meaning in the middle of the muck, but just know I'm thinking about ya! :)

Kasey said...

thoughts and prayers are with you right now, girl. Having a broken heart is one of the absolute, if not THE absolute worst feeling in the world. As days go by and time goes on, it WILL hurt less and less. You are strong and you can get through this!

Kait said...

Just remember: You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Sending you big virtual hugs :) XO

Kristin said...

thinking of you girl!! <3

Brie said...

Hugs! I've been in your shoes, I also kept the animals, and it sucks. It is hard and upsetting and you just want to curl up and lay there. The greatest thing you can do is get up, brush yourself off, look in the mirror and say I am amazing I only need me and one day someone will be lucky to have me in their life. We are all here for you!

TheTinyHeart said...

Nikki, I'm so sorry! My heart is breaking for you. I've been there before feeling like your world has ended. I know it's hard to imagine now, but things do ease with time and your heart WILL heal! I'm here if you ever need to talk! Hugs!!

-Sharon

Lily Anne said...

I totally agree with Faith. You are a very strong woman and I know you are a survivor. I read your blog all the time and had missed you. So glad to see you back! Keep your chin up gal, yo are surrounded by a lot of us who really love you<3
BTW< Faith, I got it!

Beth Lane said...

Glad you're back! Keep on keepin' on girlfriend.

Kayla Lynn said...

thinking of you during this tough time, girl. xo :)

Mademoiselle Michael said...

Really brave of you to write this post. Love that you are determined to move forward...even though we don't know what that looks like just yet. You are so going to be blessed. I know it and I feel it. Let us know what you need...your blog gals are always here.

Elizabeth said...

I was beginning to wonder where you went?!??! Just read your previous post... and I have to say you are a very brave, strong woman for facing this head on. It's never easy, but take it from someone who divorced at a young age only to find out her not-so perfect relationship would take a turn for the worst after saying I do. So look on the bright side... you don't have to carry the divorce title ;) We may not know each other in person, but I feel your pain. Breakups/separations are never easy, but we come out bigger and stronger in the very end! Hang in there girl!! xoxoxo

Elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chelsea said...

Sending so many hugs your way! I know how horrible heartbreak can feel. You can't eat, can't sleep... all you can do is cry! It's hard to make sense of everything and I know that it'll be that way for a while.

BUT, brighter, more beautiful days ARE ahead! You WILL find your forever love [heck, I'm still looking for mine... again!] and you'll look back and be grateful that this detour appeared. For now, know that we are all here for you! We love you and believe in you!!! xo

Brooke said...

Better things to come love!
Your future is brighter then your past!


=)


Brooke

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

To love is to be loved but love yourself first! Cause I love you!

Holly said...

Hugs from Ohio! Ugh, hunny my heart aches for you. Keep holding on to the hope of that day when you're able to love again fully. To trust another person with your love. Grief is a funny thing and it's OK to do whatever you need to do to get yourself through this tough time. If you need a pick-me-up or a virtual hug, I'm your gal! xoxoxo

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this Nikki. I gathered that something was off but I didn't want to pry. Sending hugs your way, thinking of you, friend!!

KTB Reynolds said...

Chicago is a great place to do some retail therapy if you need it!!!! Love me some proverbs 31! Glad they are helping you through. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. You are going to make it!!!

Mommy Mandy said...

Hugs lady...thinking of you!!

Meg {henninglove} said...

oh nikki hugs for you girl!! ugh this news breaks my heart, it will suck for awhile but you have great friends to surround you

My-cliffnotes said...

I love you and am so glad you're blogging again!

Fake it til you make is other way of life! You'll get your groove back just like Stella!

Xx

lori said...

hey nikki,

i am so far behind on blogging and just read your last couple of posts. i really hate it that you're going through such a tough heartbreak. i don't want to be all cliche either, but i do want to say that i think you are handling it so well- love the "fake it til you make it" attitude.

i feel like we have related a lot in regards to relationships... so please email me if you feel like talking.

and a southern meet up?! please oh please say its relatively close to me? i would loveeee to come meet your lovely face!

Lady Elizabeth Grace said...

Continuing to send loving thoughts and strength your way. I'm so proud you've already made it back to the blogging world, way to go girl!

xo,

Lady Grace

www.LadyElizabethGrace.com

Nikki said...

So sorry darling! You're amazing and I know you'll bounce back! Southern blogger meet up? Yes please!

Ashlyn said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have also gone through a broken engagement, and I would never wish that pain on anyone. It is a terrible experience....but, as I'm sure you have already been told, it will get better. Those words didn't help me much at first. What did help was knowing that I wasn't the only person to ever go through that or the only person to feel that way. I'll be sending prayers your way.

Renee said...

My heart goes out to you friend! So behind on blog reading. Heartbreak is the absolute worst. Having just gone through a breakup so recently I know the feeling all too well. It'll get better though so keep on keeping on! Love and hugs to you sweet girl!!

Stephanie {Life, Actually} said...

Keep your head up. I'm a somewhat new reader of your blog, but you are a wonderful person! :)

P!nky said...

I just read your post and girl, keep that head high. I've never been in your shoes, but I KNOW you will get through this.

Here's a quote that helped me in the past...

"The sun shines BRIGHTEST after the rain"!

:)<- virtual hug sweet lady!