What Means The World To You

"Cause money mean the world to me, Imma shine for the world to see..."

I sincerely hope the title of this post has taken you back to your younger days and you are singing Cam'ron in your head as we speak. That was MY JAM when I first started driving! If you don't know who Cam'ron is then I don't even know what to tell you... Apparently my life revolves around song lyrics so I need all my friends to cooperate.

So I've been thinking a lot lately about funny life can be - about how quickly things can change, how ironically things can play out, about how worrying about the future does us absolutely zero good. (Even so, I'm pretty sure we are all guilty of worrying from time to time anyhow.) I'm at this place in my life right now where I feel like I'm teetering on the cusp on great change - and when these feelings hit me I'm always compelled to look back on how things have progressed.

I read this post today from my friend Annie Downs on turning 35 and what that means. I say she's my friend, but really we haven't met in real life. I just love her and I can relate to her story. This was my favorite part:
"It means all day today, I will celebrate the life I have. Not the one I’m missing out on or the one I’m waiting for, but the one I have. It means I wouldn’t trade what I do have for what I wished for. And I will celebrate how God made me. Not who I wish I was or the things I would change, but who I am. Today."


Perfectly said, RIGHT?!?!! My 31st birthday is quickly approaching in September. That statement is scary as crap to write and say out loud. 31????? When did I get old enough to be an almost 31 year old!!!! You know birthdays always make me feel some kinda way - 2013, 2014. Getting older tends to make me feel antsy. 


BUT My 30th year goal was to be in love with my life, every minute of it, and I think I'm finally starting to get a grip on that. I'm slowly learning at the ripe old age of 367 months old how to celebrate the life that I have TODAY and not worry about the one I thought I was missing out on.

I say that I feel like I'm on the edge of change for a lot of reasons. Talks of engagement, marriage, babies, traveling more for work, future life plans and lots of big girl things are happening these days. All of which are HUGE life changes, well worth celebrating. I'd be a lying dog if I told you I wasn't tickled pink with how things are going right now. I'm in such a strong place emotionally, for the first time probably since Skye and I broke up back in 2012. Being in a good place emotionally doesn't mean that I have it all together or that I don't cry when I have PMS. But it does mean I am better equipped for handling the challenges that inevitably come my way. The death of my mama back in April taught me so much about my emotional state and my ROCK that is my relationship with God. He has offered me a fresh start at everything. Not without struggle, and not with the promise of no future struggles, but with the faithful TRUTH that He will sustain all struggles. It's taken some time to cleanse my heart of hateful things and  to learn the glory of true grace. I hope I never stop learning this lesson and never stop extending it to others because it's been radically life changing for me. I'm not perfect at it, (not even close) but the Lord has brought my heart such a long way in these past three years. It just feels good to feel at peace with where I am. I'm thankful beyond words!

So what means the world to me? Loving my life fully. Being surrounded by people who love me and support me. Embracing changes when they come. Getting on my knees to thank God for His blessings - in good times and bad. Celebrating what I have and who I am. Grace, grace & more grace.