Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Puppy Love

I am a true animal lover. I currently have 2 dogs, a Pomeranian (Tilly) and a Husky mix (Sadie). Sadie is almost 4 years old and Tilly will be 1 in October. I absolutely LOVE dogs. I am coming up also in October, on the 1 year anniversary of losing my first Pomeranian, Roxy. She was my first puppy that was all mine after I moved out of my parent's house. My boyfriend got her for me on my 22nd birthday, and I was instantly in love. I had wanted a Pomeranian ever since I could remember. He found her in the paper, picked her out and arranged for a surprise trip to go pick her up. It was in August, a couple weeks before my actual birthday, because she was at the ready to go home age. She was so tiny when we got her that I used to put her in my purse and carry her with me every where I went. She would nap in my purse at restaurants and just sit in my purse while I was grocery shopping. I was smitten with this dog! Since we don't have any kids, I treated her like my child. Unfortunately, last October she got hit by a car in our neighborhood. She would have been 5 years old this year. I was absolutely devastated and I literally didn't know what to do with myself. I still have a little bit of a hard time talking about it, and it's been a whole year. Part of the reason it was so particularly devastating is because just 2 weeks before precious Roxy got killed, I was dealing with another tragedy that had happened to me (will explain more later). Of course, I would have been a mess regardless, but having 2 extremely traumatic events piled on top of each other just 2 weeks apart was about enough to send this girl over the edge of sanity. It's crazy how attached we can get to those little fluffy pets that wag their tails at us. Every now and again I will find pictures of Roxy on my phone, or around the house and I will give myself a moment to miss her. Tilly has a toy of hers that she plays with and there are times that I wish I wouldn't have passed it down so that it would still smell like her. I realize that makes me sound like a lunatic, but it's true. That dog and I had such a special bond. I cried for weeks after she died, and even when I could make it through the days without missing her, the nights would absolutely tear me apart. I decided about a month after Roxy died that I wanted to entertain the idea of getting a new Pomeranian again. We still had our big girl, Sadie, but I just had a fondness for the little ones. I like a lap dog. We picked out Tilly and got her a week before Christmas last year. At first, I liked her of course but I found myself always comparing her to Roxy and that just left me disappointed and frustrated. Tilly and Roxy are COMPLETE opposites. Roxy was a princess, spoiled, lazy, prissy girl with a territorial attitude - she loved her mama though! Tilly is a hyper active, loving little terror that never meets a stranger. I honestly doubted if I would be able to love Tilly the way I had just jumped into loving Roxy. I never thought that I would lose her at such an early age so I never had a guard up about loving her too much. I think with Tilly I was a little afraid to let myself open all the way up to her, kind of like entering a new relationship, I was very cautious not to let myself get hurt.

Almost a year after we got Tilly, and Lord knows we've been through so much with her already, she's developed into quite the little sidekick for me. I think it took us almost losing her, about a month ago when my neighbor's dog attacked her, for me to realize my ultimate love for her. I know that sounds horrible to say because God knows she's an adorable and definitely lovable little thing. Let's just say that I'm here to warn everyone that I am officially "all in" with Ms. Tilly, for better or for worse. (And I hope for better since her most recent escapade with the neighbor's dog has cost me about $1700 in vet bills).

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