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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sister Wives - For It or Againist It?

I feel like I'm stuck on this whole marriage topic over the last couple of months. I CAN'T HELP IT - IT'S EVERYWHERE!

However today, it's a different kind of marriage (other than my own) that is on my mind. As you may remember from a previous post, I watch that damn Sister Wives show. Just another one in the list of my guilty reality TV pleasures. I've been watching it from the beginning, really at first just to see how "weird" they were. Turns out, they are pretty normal - aside from the actual sister wives and 20 kids in the family deal. And the 20 kids is not abnormal, if you consider those Duggars. 20 kids, ONE MOM....scary thought. I spent a little quality time with my DVR last night, and caught up on the most recent episode of Sister Wives. Kody, the husband, was talking to the kids about the LDS guy Warren Jeffs who was the bad poster child for the sister wives religion. He was the one who married the underage girls in multiples and didn't give them much freedom, made them wear the Amish style clothing, with their hair pinned back, etc. Basically he gave most Mormons and polygamist families a bad reputation. He has since been arrested and sentenced to live in prison +20 years. I think they made a lifetime movie about it too. Kody and his wives were talking about how different their family life is from the lifestyle of Warren Jeffs and his wives. Now, I don't know the Browns personally and I'm not a polygamist or Mormon. However, and I've mentioned it before, it does seem that they have a fairly normal lifestyle. It works for them. 20 kids spread over 4 wives, one or two nights a week with your husband - some of that doesn't sound half bad.

I realize I'm generalizing their lifestyle in a huge way, and I mean no disrespect in doing so. I'm sure there are plenty of details that I do not begin to understand.

I live in East TN - so I'm not in contact with this plural wife lifestyle at all. Typically, I'm the kind of person who is very liberal when it comes to these types of issues and I say to each his own. I have lesbian friends who I feel deserve the right to be married just as much as I do. I don't feel that two women being together destroys the sanctity of marriage. I tend to feel that a man who cheats on his wife constantly is the portrait of destroying the sanctity of marriage. I'm pro-choice in most aspects of my life and decision making. I really do feel that we were given the blessing of free will so that we could make these types of choices for ourselves. I'm very much pro-gay marriage, and I guess that leads me to believe that I'm even pro-plural marriage. How could I be one way but not the other? Watching the Browns on TV has opened my eyes to other types of lifestyles that work for people. East TN is a small community located smack dab in the middle of the good old Bible Belt. Growing up here, I would say I've been blessed with parents who are open minded enough to allow me to make difficult decisions about my choices and my lifestyle on my own, with some guidance. I know plenty of folks who were not blessed with a liberal and open family, like mine. I hate to say this, because I LOVE being Southern, but in the South we aren't quick to grasp onto change. Hence the Civil War, desegregation, equal rights for minorities and women, and gays. We all know there is sometimes truth under the root of these southern stereotypes. However, I luckily have all my teeth and wear shoes on a daily basis. And yes, I am even lucky enough to have running water :)

Sorry to get off on a tangent there...
Kody and his wives have taught me that I am capable to even more acceptance than I realized. I've never had a problem with gay people, black people, mexican people, white people, lesbian people, rich people, poor people....any kind of people really. I'm pretty tolerant. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that going into watching the Sister Wives show that I did have a preconceived notion about polygamists. However, now I feel more enlightened. I've chosen to date someone for almost 7 years now and have yet to marry him. We've lived together "in sin" as Southern Baptists like to tell me, for several years now. It works for us. Just because a certain lifestyle isn't what I choose for my life, doesn't mean that it won't work for others.

Why do you think that's such a hard concept for everyone to grasp?

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