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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

In Which I Begin To Date Again...

We haven't had real talk in a minute so I thought now would be as good of a time as any. If you are new to following me then you might think my life is quite the emotional roller coaster hot mess these days. You would be pretty much accurate! I try to be honest about my feelings, and maybe if you've ever been through a similar situation then you can relate. If not then God bless your soul you are one of the lucky ones! I want to keep it real that way maybe my story can help someone else not feel alone. Feeling all the ups & downs along the way is just part of it.

Anyhow I'm starting to date again...slowly but surely. Here's the breakdown for you:
 
8 - total number of dates
4 - number of boys I've been on dates with
4- number of other boys who have asked me out but I have cancelled on them
3 - number of fireman included
2 - number of boys who have taken me on dates who I dated casually in high school 
1 - number of recurring boy toys (date numbers do NOT include him since he's a constant)
1 - number of boys who I want to go out with but my brother has refused to allow it
 
Dating is complicated ya'll! Or maybe I just make it that way. I'm a relationship kinda girl. I've been in two serious relationships in my life. One started in high school and lasted off & on for 2.5 years. Then I met Skye after being single for only a couple months and he and I jumped in head first. 7 years, 11 months and one engagement ring later we all know how that ended. I've been a single girl for almost 5 months now. It has been quite the adjustment period for me - and I'm still adjusting!
 
I'm not a good casual dater. Being in this casual relationship with this boy toy fella has really opened my eyes and sometimes it's complicated, but it's also been really a blessing in disguise for me. Typically I feel like it's a waste of time for me to entertain the idea of dating anyone who I couldn't picture myself being in a relationship with. But then again, some boys were just made to enjoy right?? I go back and forth on that concept at least weekly. I definitely feel pressure to settle down sooner rather than later. Pressure because I'm 28, pressure because Skye has had 3409374 girlfriends since we broke up, pressure because I am traditionally a relationship person and everybody knows it. I have to admit that Skye and I had a damn near perfect relationship. He was a pretty great boyfriend most of the time and he knew me so well; so I have expectations in my mind that not all boys can live up to. I'm not in any sort of rush to jump back into a relationship though so I am just trying to take my time and make the right decisions, and have a little fun along the way. I mean I have gotten a Luke Bryan concert out of this dating thing so that ain't half bad in my book!

Honestly, I have faith in God's perfect timing for me. Getting back involved in church has really helped me relax with life's timing and just not worry about what lies ahead. That includes dating and finding my perfect man.

Meanwhile I will just wait on this guy to come sweep me off my feet....
Oh HEEEEEEEEEEY Adam Levine! I saw you lookin all hot playin those drums last night on The Voice premiere!

 Photobucket

47 comments:

Kendahl Lanai said...

i've never understood the point of dating someone if you cant see yourself with them long term.

and grrrr what did i tell you about trying to love on my man?

Cayla Hess said...

Oh girl. I totally hear you on this, especially feeling the pressure. They say (as corny as it is!), that things fall into place when you least expect it, and I honestly believe that. Once you let go, take a deep breath from those pressures, and just "live," sometimes these things creep up on you.
And eventually, all those expectations will slowly fade away into whatever your new relationship holds. I had the same issue with my ex, "He would know I'm upset right now," "He would bring me different flowers," such silly things once you're in a different relationship. Because that's the JOY, that you're learning about each other. Plus, you can always drop subtle hints that some flowers are prettier then others ;)

Ps. If only Luke Bryan were available for ya, perfect world!

Lindsey @ Life on Countryside said...

dating - I have dabbled in this conversation on le blog a few times, but nothing serious. Kind of like my dating life. I too am a relationship kind of girl...and dating sucks really.

I am going to email you right now BEE TEE DUBS....

xoxo

Megan said...

I love your dating stats and I am loving that you are back in the game. Don't go for the relationship this time, give it some time and someday you'll be ready for the the serious thing again.

Yay for firemen! Boo for brothers banning!

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

Ummm...hello sexy firemen!!!!!

I am so happy that you are getting back out there and don't stress over the 24674324 girlfriends Skye has had. Let him do him and you do you. You are an amazing person with a heart of gold. The next man to capture your heart and keep it will be the luckies fella around.

xoxo Love ya sister!

P!nky said...

God's timing is true! :)

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

Part of me misses dating and part of me is glad I never have to do it again. But the beginning fluttery feeling of a date that has gone well is the best. The absolute best.

Rachel Silski said...

Hey..you got to see Luke..thats a plus...maybe next time you will get to see Adam and then he will fall in love with you and the rest will be fate!

Pamela said...

Pssshhh, Skye. He's had those million girlfriends since yall broke up because none compare to you!! He's missing out on so much with you. You'll find your prince charming sooner than you think! Just take your time, enjoy the single life, & discover more about yourself. You're such a wonderful girl! Glad to have 'met you'! Oh, firemen? ;)

Whitney Leigh said...

mmmm Adam....He's so beautiful.

I'm totally different. I think Landon is the only guy I really ever dated that I even sort of thought I would be with long term.

Everyone else was just to get free dinners. ok, I'm not that cheap, I swear. :) I was just really poor for awhile. haha

Helene said...

hahahaha omg i love how you break it down. 4 firemen hmm?

Helene said...

sorry 3!

Jordan said...

My favorite stats are the fireman one and the boys you want to date but brother won't allow it one! Casual dating was always tricky for me. Like you, I'm a relationship girl! You said it best when you said you feel like you might be wasting time. But then again, you just started so enjoy it for now! Worry about wasting time when it's no longer fun for you anymore. Until then, enjoy the concerts and free dinners :)

claire said...

"Some boys were just made to enjoy"-I like that!!!! I feel you on the whole pressure to settle down thing. It seems like everyone I know is getting married or having a kid, but I know I'm nowhere near being ready for that! Our time will come though :)

Jordan said...

Also, would it be creepy for you to share pics of these firemen? Hahaha

Wine and Summer said...

I love this post...especially the dating by the numbers.

You have the right attitude...enjoy it while you can and everything will fall into place when it is supposed to.

Young and Fabulous said...

fireman!! HOT DAMN! ;-)

proud of you girl!! The right man will come along! dont pressure yourself because I know it will happen when the time is right :-) God has a time for you my love <3

but wow firemen! go girrrrll

xoxox

Samantha said...

I totally forgot about The Voice starting!! Was it good?

And enjoy dating. There is nothing wrong with being picky and figuring out what you truly want in a relationship. It will all work out. It always does.

Dee Stephens said...

I'm with you on dating. If you can't picture yourself long term what's the point.
After such a long relationship I would give yourself time to heal. You're only 28! I have soooo many friends who got married at 28 and guess what? At 37 they're all divorced now.
You should plan and take some girl trips and live life for you for a while and maybe Mr. Wonderful will appear along the way?
This is coming from a girl who dated a guy for 4-years then broke up with him at 31, stayed single until 33 and got married at 34. I'm 37 now and just had our baby. Life happens how it's suppose to happen even if it's not on the timeframe we choose. :)
XO
Your newest follower

axellskitchen.com said...

Firemen..YUM. And oh hello Adam!
But 28 is still super young, love!

TheTinyHeart said...

Hello firemen! I think you should do what makes you happy. If you're having fun with the boytoy, then so be it.

It took me a while to find my hubby and I dated a lot of guys before he appeared!

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
Target Giveaway!

Audra said...

Some day, when you look over at your darling husband and your perfect marriage, you will think back on this time in your life and you'll think to yourself "Self - I will never regret hooking up with 3 different firemen while I was single."

Yep.

Nikki said...

Girlfriend dating sucks but sometimes it's not that bad. Try to enjoy this time and just go with the flow!

Erin Rethemeyer said...

I can relate totally! After my bad break-up it took some serious soul searching to jump into dating again! You are doing great - don't ever feel pressure to "settle" - enjoy those dates! Sometimes they really are made to just enjoy!
Love how honest you are about this love! I would have never talked about it!
<3

Aly said...

So happy you've been putting yourself out there. You will find someone amazing, who is the best combination of all your relationships. Just have fun!

Fran @ Sassy Southern Bride said...

I'm happy you are getting out there and getting back into the swing of things, even if just for sport. It really can help to get your mind off things - that is all I will say here since this is on the www :-)

Ashley Barnhill said...

Reason #153 on why I love your blog... because you tell it like it is. :) I am SO glad you are getting back out there - I know that is not easy and you are a rock star!!! Always thinking about you and praying everything falls perfectly into place sometime soon! :) xoxo And I love me some Adam Levine!

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

I don't know when the right time is. Everyone mourns loss and recovery different. I personally like wallering in it like a pig. But someday you have to move on. Your a beautiful woman. Your heart will tell you what's right.

Lauran {The Real Young Housewife of Southern VA} said...

I can't even begin to imagine what dating life is like these days! You are so right though! God has a plan for you, just keep up this journey you are on and keep working hard to find what you and your heart want and need!!! xoxo!

emenchho said...

You followed my dating drama early last year...and you see where I ended up! ;) I know it's cliche, but it does eventually make sense and seem like divine timing. *hugs*

Esme said...

The dating world and I aren't seeing eye to eye either. I left a 4 &1/2 year relationship in December of 211 and it 2012 was hard yet it gave me peace. I've dated but it's not easy and I'm not sure where I wanna go with it. However like you said "some boys were just made to enjoy" and lucky you on having some firemen as dates!

Kalie said...

So excited for the Voice again tonight, and even more excited Adam put some weight back on - he was looking toooo skinny last year!

And I can totally relate (minus the whole engagement). I'm a relationship girl all the way. But I also have had a boy toy who has helped fill all the gaps for me when I needed someone to be there, but a relationship wasn't working. Sounds so strange, but he has turned into my best friend over the years. And I know that he will always be there for me, regardless, so don't discount that boy toy too much. Even if you know he isn't boyfriend material, he could turn into an awesome friend.

Katie said...

Im a relationship kind of girl also. The dating world is stressful!! But look at those numbers! I think you are doing pretty good for yourself.

'Some boys were just made to enjoy' hahahah ain't that the truth!

Carolina Charm said...

The real question is, how many of those guys follow your blog? :)

Holly said...

I love love love your honesty. I cannot imagine being back on the dating scene after so much time off. You are a trooper and I think easing yourself back into it is a good thing. You have time to re-evaluate what you want and like you said, have some fun along the way. A Luke Bryan concert ain't too shabby ;) xoxo

CALLIE said...

Firemen?? Get it girl! You are so right. Take your time. If you have expectations, don't ever settle for less. There will be that special one out there!! Promise :)

Kait said...

You have to take your time and do what's best for YOU on your own timeline. Everything works out in the end, I promise :)

JP Lord said...

GO GIRL! I like your break down...but I love Adam Levine more. Holy shit he's hot. I mean like Ga--daaaaamn.
xx

SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth} said...

girl, i'm with you on the casual dating thing. i find it difficult to continue to see someone when i just don't see a future. to each her own, but you do what makes YOU happy and comfortable! (and it's good to have a brother to look out for you) :)

Stephanie said...

Yuuuup.

Angela said...

I hate casual dating and am also much more of a relationship person. And also currently struggling with having patience in God's timing, but I know I need to. Adam Levine is the perfect male specimen. I'm waiting for him, or Ryan Gosling, to come find me.

:) Angela

Meg {henninglove} said...

ooh i love those numbers about the firemen and at one point you had to get back into the game and i am glad to read this post. God will bring the one Nikki leave that all up to Him, takes the pressure off a bit too :-)

Becca Moss said...

SOOOOO I'm brand new to your blog and I won't lie, I just went snooping on here to see what's up and man oh man do I have to let you know whats going through my head. First and foremost, I love how honest you are. Seriously though, you're probably going to be my new best friend. I don't know why you and Skye broke up but I love that you have found the strength to go out and give love another chance. Don't waste your time on someone that you know isn't going to last. I can't wait to read more about your adventures of the dating world and hearing about your strength to pull through. You go girl, you are an inspiration lady.

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Treasure Tromp said...

oh my goodness, dating is the worst. but I love the numbers breakdown ;)

Amanda aka Manda said...

can I just say I love your honesty about this! And ps- you'll have to share Adam with me!

Janna Renee said...

Haha one time my brother's friend and I pretended that we were seeing each other and my bro FLIPPED. It was a really good prank ;)