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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Keeping the Faith When Dating

I get asked a lot of dating advice...I guess because I've put my dating life out there for the world to read. I'll be the first to admit that dating at the ripe old age of 29 definitely has it's ups and downs. I'm not a shy person by nature AT ALL, so it's easy for me to go out and meet new people. Most guys I've dated since I've been single have been guys that I've already known from high school, college or friends of friends. I recently started branching out to date guys that I didn't really know that well and then last weekend I had my first ever blind date. I'm lucky in that I haven't had any major horror stories...yet. It could still happen.
 
I know something that all of us single ladies struggle with is finding "good guys". We wonder do these guys - Like Nathan Scott from OTH or Noah from the Notebook - do they even exist?? I fully hope to walk into church one Sunday morning and see THIS guy with an empty seat next to him. Hey, a girl can dream!!
Taylor Kinney PLUS a beard...meeeeeow!
I know this sounds strange because I am still single, but I am here to tell you that these guys DO exist. Sure, there are some real douchebags out there! I know some of them, I'm friends with some of them. And I constantly wonder how their style works for them. But it's because the girls they date have lowered their expectations, and allowed themselves to be mistreated.
 
Here's my best dating advice:
1. BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF
2. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
3. BE PATIENT
4. HAVE FUN
Guys love confidence. I know that I'm not the cutest girl that ever walked the face of this earth. But I also know that I'm fun & funny. You work with what you have! Knowing what you want is so important, in my opinion. You have to know the qualities you are firm and flexible on. I'm firm on Jesus, sports and he has to make me laugh. Everything else I'm a little flexible on. Being patient is hard for most of us. You see everyone around you getting engaged, then married and having babies and you want that for yourself too. I get frustrated when I date a lot but can't fully click with someone. But trust me, you don't want to come from a broken engagement or marriage - especially with kids involved. Take your time to know the kind of man you want in your life and do it right. Until then, pray for your future husband. That's what I do. God has perfect timing.
 
I have been lucky to surround myself with amazing men. Men who would be ideal boyfriends, make me laugh, are perfect gentlemen but for whatever reason they just aren't the guys for me. So trust me girls, these men are out there! And until yours falls into your lap, just try to RELAX and enjoy the ride.
 
Disclaimer: In NO way do I think I am qualified to give dating advice. Just wanted to share my experiences with you! And believe me when I say I'm talking to myself here as much as anyone else.

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24 comments:

P!nky said...

Oh God's timing is so true. It's hard to wait for HIS timing, when we know what we WANT right now, but He knows best!

I agree, good guys are out there, girls need to understand that they have to look for em, instead of 'settling' for just the bad boys.

I 100% agree that having guy that makes you laugh is key! :0

Janna Renee said...

I think this is great advice! There are most definitely great guys out there, and even Will was a "player" before he met me. Sometimes it just takes the right kind of love to change a guy.

Janna Renee said...

I wasn't done lol. Most importantly, I agree that you should NEVER settle. You are a beautiful and fun girl, so you deserve a Prince Charming ;)

Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

i agree with all of it! i think that you'll meet someone when you least expect it. i met my hubby when we were both just getting out of a turbulent relationship but the strange thing was that we both ran in the same circles FOR YEARS but never met until that one fateful night. i'm not into love being written in the stars or shit like that but it was weird in that we knew the exact same people and went to the exact same places yet NEVER MET until that night.


-kathy
Vodka and Soda

Amanda aka Manda said...

I LOVE this post! You already know you are my go to guru when it comes to dating and guys! Your four "rules" are definitely good ones and mine as well...except I'm still working on the confidence part!

TheTinyHeart said...

These are great tips, especially to be confident in yourself. I think that quality is the most attractive to guys!

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart

Stephanie said...

Can I love Taylor Kinney with you?!?!

Pamela said...

This is great advice!! You deserve the best!

Stephanie said...

It happens when it happens! The worst part about the holidays - it's engagement season. One of my best friends is getting proposed to on Friday, and the other knows her bf already bought the ring (she picked it.) It's overwhelming!! Hang in there. And I'm saying that as much to you as to myself ;)

Ashley Barnhill said...

Couldn't have said it better myself! This is great advice!!

Jordan said...

So true girl! I love this post! You hit the nail on the head.

Jordon said...

Even though it is never easy to hear, God's timing is perfect. I have a friend who has been struggling with this badly, I will definitely be sharing!

Sami said...

Oh Nikki I love this so much! It's easy to get so wrapped into finding "the perfect guy" that I forget that dating is supposed to be fun, not stressful haha. Great advice pretty lady!

Rachel Sedaker said...

This is great advice. I love what you say about confidence- for some reason, it never clicked with me until now. I've been so focused on what I'm not (smokin' hot), which has dulled what I am (pretty, smart, full of life). This is why I love your blog- it's like getting together with a girlfriend for a chat.

Micah said...

You offer some great advice and reminders. I have only recently learned (from honest talks with friends) that the real thing holding me back is my confidence. So what if I'm not a size 2 Mila Kunis lookalike? I still have a ton to offer. I just need to recognize what that is and promote it. :)

Fash Boulevard said...

I think this is great advice, love!

kelsnsher said...

You're amazing as usual and I love that you referenced OTH. I know you've been watching re-runs on Soapnet and it is my all time favorite show ever!! Nathan was always my tv. crush (and at the expense of sounding extremely lame, still is haha) You're so right a Good guy is out there for you and me and all the good girls in the World!

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

Taylor Kinney with a beard, yum!! So true to never settle, I only want to do it once.

Jackie said...

I always seem to say "it'll never happen for me" seems to happen for everyone else. But I'm trying hard not to be so pessimistic about it all!

Maru said...

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Jay T said...

Yes yes yes yes...especially to the laughter. For years I was convinced that I was in love with one of my close guy friends, and then I visited him for a weekend and didn't. laugh. once. That was it for me. And confidence is SO important. It also makes it easier if things don't work out because then you're left thinking, "oh well!" instead of "whaaaaat is wrooooooong with meeeee!!!"

Erin Rethemeyer said...

You are spot on. It takes time and that right person will come. Not backing down on who you are or what you want. Its been a hot minute since I have been on a date with anyone but my husband but it worked with him.

smk053078 said...

I would totally date you if I was available!!! :) There are def great guys out there, just like there are great girls...just like you!!! :)

Amy @ Living n Learning said...

You're plenty cute girl! Don't sell yourself short there. :)

Thanks for sharing your advice. I'll definitely be taking it into consideration. :)