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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Today is my first day back at work since last Wednesday. The break was mostly lovely and much needed. Seeing Skye accomplish a major life goal with his graduation last Thursday made me swell with pride. I could not have been happier and more proud of him that day! I felt like I had gone through that academy with him for 6 months. Sure he did the everyday work, but I was right there studying every Sunday night and supporting him on the rough days and making some cherished new friends. It was a real win for us to have our families come together in support of this new chapter in our lives. I feel annoying, but I can't stop telling him how proud I am! Plus, whew that uniform thing is a little sexy :) We spent the first part of my days off celebrating his graduation and our anniversary. It was wonderful! The second part of my break was spent with Dad due to his surgery.

Coming back to work today, was met with mixed emotions for me. It's always hard to come back after a nice long break. We had our annual ham Christmas breakfast this morning and all of our Christmas bonuses were passed out. That's definitely a plus to coming back! However, my office was a wreck. Being the neat freak that I am, I despise a mountain of paperwork and a tidal wave of emails and voicemails. I can't stand that sinking drowning smothering feeling. It usually makes my first day back very irritating. By now, I'm mostly caught up. I can't complain too much though - tomorrow we will drudge through just one more work day and then off again for Friday & Monday. This time of the year is so marvelous because the sprinkling of holidays and time off. My schedule is even matching up with Skye's for a little time off together, for which I am most thankful this year. I've been toying with the idea of finding some freelance work so that I could have a more flexible and home based schedule. I think I've semi-permanently decided to put this on hold. Work is good for me. After I missed work for my accident last year for a month or so, it was so therapeutic to get back into the swing of things. I have some natural worries about my schedule syncing with Skye's but we will work through it. I am in a good place at work - and I work for a great company and with a supportive group of people. I can't pass that up for a "grass is greener" outlook right now. Sure, I will continue to complain sometimes and dream of hitting the lottery and not working, but for now I'm happy where I am in my career.

Dad is doing well - he finally got moved into a regular cardiac room late last night. They have removed several of his IVs, and he's able to eat some solid foods too. He's not puffy anymore and his color is almost back to normal. He even went for a walk today. I feel much better with him being out of the Critical Care Unit. I saw his scar yesterday and it's a doozey! I still can't wrap my head around the procedure and the fact that just 2 days ago we were terrified to begin this journey. Thank God for heart surgeons, doctors in general and fabulous nurses who truly care! They anticipate that he will still by home in time for Christmas. My Christmas wishes - so far - seem to be coming true!

I've had some interaction with my new (evil) step-mother since we've been forced together at the hospital. Not sure if I shared this, but she and I got into a knock-down drag out spat last week via text message. I sure did go ahead and delete her from my Facebook too - mature, I know. Monday was terribly awkward since we last spoke hate filled words to each other. I had tried to reach out to her and "make peace" the Thursday before the surgery by offering up a half-ass apology. She did not accept, thus the drama continued right into surgery day. My dad gets all tore up about my brother and I not accepting her into the family. Of course I am full of clever and seemingly logical comebacks in this department, but when it comes right now to it - it is not easy nor fun to have this level of discomfort with anyone you encounter frequently. She and I managed to have some civilized conversation last night, after which she sent me a text to say it was nice to talk again. Upon which, like the good little girl that I am, again apologized for my harsh text words last week and tried to squash the beef with her. I would just like to put it out there that this is NOT the first time we've been down Squash the Beef Lane together, but maybe it will be the last of our major arguments. I'm not saying that I will always think kind thoughts, but I am going to give my best effort to keep those thoughts to myself. If this has taught me anything, it's that I love my daddy. I already knew this fact, but being in this situation has made me more appreciative to have him around. I can't wait for him to walk me down the aisle and hold his grandbabies - when those times come. He's always been the absolute best dad so I will try to trust his judgement on what he wants. Wicked evil step-mother - be damned! Maybe we can drop the wicked and just settle on evil for the time being? Evil is bit of a harsh word, but we are still building this bridge so let's leave that open to change for now. Let me remind you that it's not easy to act like an adult when you feel like acting as if you were 13 again.

And on my final thought for today - I am mostly done with my Christmas shopping. I am definitely always a last minute shopper, but with dad being in the hospital this week it cramps my time to get those last minute shopping trips in. I'm a little disappointed in the Christmas lists that I received this year. Skye did not really leave me any room to surprise him. I usually like to throw in a surprise gift that is most unexpected. Those are so fun! Not this year though. Maybe something will come to me last minute?

I'm am fully still counting on my life getting back into a normal shape by next week. Christmas will be over, family drama will be on the way out the door, dad will be home and Skye will be on day shift. Sounds amazing if you ask me!

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