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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Blog Life vs. Real Life

Do you ever get your blog life and your real life mixed up? I don't necessarily go out of my way to keep my blog a secret in real life. If it comes up, then it does and I explain it. However, it's not something I widely advertise either. I don't have my blog URL on my IG or Facebook, just my Twitter account.
 
My family knows. Some of my close friends know. Obviously non-bloggers who follow me on Twitter know. But I would say most of the general people in my life are not aware of this little Pink Growl movement.
 
Insert yesterday into the mix. WOW, more people in my life know about my blog now and it feels weird. I feel like I'm in one of those nightmares where you show up to work naked. I talk freely on here about personal issues - family, weight, my breakup, my struggles, friends, etc. It's my outlet. I'm a very open person in real life too. I am who I am and I feel that I portray that pretty accurately here. But here I don't feel judged. Sometimes in real life, I do. My dad says I shouldn't put my life on the internet (even though he doesn't really know what a blog is). Yesterday I was very judged by strangers. And I was uncomfortable, and a little upset.
 
I had TWO separate incidents yesterday where my blog was exposed to people. How in the hell do I have a blog for over a year with no slip ups then BOOM two in one day? Vulnerable is the perfect description. Now, some of these people are my friends and they wouldn't bash me. And sure, any random stranger could google and find my blog. But that's not the point. The point is my secret is kinda out and I wasn't the one who chose to reveal it. It will take some adjusting for me. But I won't quit blogging. I love what my blog has grown into it and nobody can take that away from me. Boo-yah.
 
CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP, THUG LIFE.
 
So humor me, is anyone else as weird as I am
and try to keep these 2 worlds separate?
 
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45 comments:

P!nky said...

I'm with you girlfriend!

I kept this blog a complete secret from EVERYONE for over a year and a half. Then I started to meet people that became IRL friends and it had to come out in a way. My family, my husband, two of my best friends know but that's about it. I like to keep it quiet because I don't wanna feel judged and this is MY SPACE. My sisters read from time to time but that's it.

Sometimes they slip up and talk about it, and that makes me nervous and I tell em HUSH! Vulnerable is 100% the best way to describe when real world and blog world collide.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

With my old blog I tried to keep them separate. But, with my new one - I don't care. The link is on my IG account. It's on Facebook. It is what it is. :)

How did yours get exposed yesterday?

Pamela said...

In a way I try to keep it separate! It's funny how we write on such a very public site but yet feel really weird by people that find out that we do, ha! People will look at me like I'm crazy!

Rachel said...

I used to try to keep it apart but now I don't. Alot of family and friends know about mine. They don't get it but don't really care either.

Kalie said...

I keep mine separate too! Very few IRL friends know about it (Nick & 1 other who has a blog too) and my family has no idea. Apparently Nick said something about it the other day to my dad, but he is so technology challenged he didn't even know what a blog was. I was relieved! I keep it completely out of my Facebook, Twitter & IG because I have too many co-workers and students that I am friends with who I don't want reading this stuff! It is supposed to be our outlet, and I feel like it would be entirely different if I had to worry about 'real' people reading it who will silently judge me when they see me! I just explain my blog friends as friends I met online, and no one questions it!

Erin @ Happily Obsessed said...

I started out that way. I didn't even tell the hubs, it was my outlet and my private (yeah I called a public blog private) way to discuss issues. Then I started making friends, like your gorgeous self and starting texting with them, mailing cards and packages and would talk to my IRL friends about my blog friends without even thinking about it. Then I had to spill it. LOL They all knew I was a blog reader for over a year before I started my little blog.

For me the people who don't blog just don't get it. The hubs says I can't call them friends if I have never met them, some of my IRL friends just don't get it. Ah well...you know what I say eff it. It's our world and we get it!!

Play on Player.

XoXo

Duh! Danae said...

Tell the people judging you to s your d

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

From day one I put it out then on my personal facebook page and I would say most have either been supportive or kept their opinions to themselves. It is hard when random people form an opinion and try and blast you with that opinion. I think people who know us can take it in and form an opinion based on what they already know about us. Tell the haters to go pound sand!!

Audra said...

I'm with you. My blog isn't exactly hidden but I don't advertise it. Still, it's weird when a co-worker I don't know very well makes mention of something I talked about on my blog. I'm like, what the what???!? How did you know that? Oh. Right. So I do try and filter to an extent.

Sorry you were judged. People are lame.

Alyssa said...

Oh you are so not alone! I keep mine very private from people in my life because I want to be able to write whatever I want. I'm glad you're not going to stop! :-)

Unknown said...

I tried to keep it private at first but now I don't mind people knowing. I'm pretty sure that my boss reads, actually.

Bea said...

I always do. There are some people in my 'real life' I don't want to know of my blog. Frankly it's because I like being able to speak freely. My mom knows of my blog and that doesn't bother me in the slightest and a few close friends. Aside from that I like keeping the two as separate as possible.

Wine and Summer said...

I keep it very separate. I think there are like 4 people I know IRL that know about my blog. I like that they are two different worlds.

Joey Hodges said...

I don't necessarily try to keep the worlds separate-I'm pretty sure most people I know IRL know I have a blog (what kind of writer would I be if people didn't assume this about me), but I don't like to discuss my blog in real life. The posts I write are meant to stay in a virtual world. I get uncomfortable when a friend of mine is like "oh yeah! I saw that on your blog." I don't know why that is. Obviously I know I have a blog. Obviously some people read my blog. And I am FAINTLY aware that my IRL friends and family read my blog--just don't tell me to my face! Haha. I'm much more comfortable for some reason with the idea of strangers reading my inner most thoughts than actual people in my life. It's a weird feeling. And I don't think you're alone.

Britt said...

I totally get it. I struggled a lot and still do. At my old job someone found it and started harassing me by leaving nasty comments where I knew it had to be someone at my job. It sucks. The best thing you can do is not change. Everyone has their opinion about what you should be doing but the second you stop listening, it becomes something that isn't yours anymore. I'm sorry you had to deal with that twice!

Kenya said...

At first, I kept it secret. Then I opened up to my in real life friends and have had like that for a good while. But what's crazy is that the hubs and I have made a decision to start trying for a baby. I want to talk about this on my blog because bloggers usually don't talk about the beginning process, most of them wait till they are 3 months.... but what's holding me back about talking about is my in real life friends. It's not something I want to share with them, but I want to share it with my readers because I feel like they understand more and are not as judgy as my in real life friends. If any of that makes sense. LOL. It's an adjustment when people find out about your blog.

Jordon said...

I keep it fairly secret. A few friends know, my parents know, and my husband knows. IDK why I always feel weird talking about it to people, but I do. Even though I don't open up entirely on my blog, I still feel like it is my private life that not everyone knows about hahah

Faith said...

i told a few close friends and my sisters know but Mr. Sean was so proud that i was blogging in the beginning that he shared my URL a few times! i was livid but then i stopped caring. i write for me and if you want to judge me for it, then that's your issue, not mine. but there is a joy of just blogging and not having to worry about who is reading which is why i refuse to share my URL on any of my other social networks.

i think it's also easier to know that you're being judged by strangers. i mean, who cares? you don't know them. but to be judged by those around you ... well that's a little harder to handle.

but there's a joy that comes from blogging and it completely overshadows that. CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP, THUG LIFE ;)

TheTinyHeart said...

Most people in my life do not know I have a blog (as far as I know) with the exception of my immediate family and a few friends. Even though I try not to get too personal on my blog, I feel weird about my friend/co-workers discovering it.

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart

Anonymous said...

Not a lot of my family knows about my blog. It's just not something I talk about. Anyway I got a call from my brother one day. He sounded all confused and asked do you have a blog? I got all kinds of questions from him about it and his tone made him sound weirded out by it. I was caught off guard by that phone call. After that I felt very vulnerable about what I was posting. That feeling has since gone away, but yes I understand how you are feeling right now.

Erin P said...

I do keep my blog somewhat secret. It's not that I hide it, but I do choose to tell it like it is on my blog and there are some real life family/friends that I wouldn't want to read that...ya know?

I agree with you. I don't feel as judged in our blogger circle as I do in real life. Non-bloggers don't get it. ha

Lindsay @ la vita dolce said...

when people in real life bring up my blog i always feel a little awkward, not sure why but i do...
its like YOU read my blog...why?!?!? LOL
Or how in the world did you find out about it???
i dont usually bring it up to people other than my hubby mom and sister as they dont think its weird...all others, i never bring it up ;)

Jordan said...

That is strange, twice in one day! What happened? Though I don't advertise it anywhere via tweets, facebook posts, etc... I do have the link on my Instagram and my Twitter. If people stumble across it, whatev. But I kind of like it being on the hush! I think you're handling this well and that's all you can do girl - hold your head high and stay true to you. <3

chantal marie said...

I def do!! my family and friends know, but no one at work does. i have good friends at work, but i am afraid one of them will slip. i dont need one of my bosses seeing pics of me and my girls in Miami or reading about my emotions!! sometimes i think it is better to draw the line. im not ashamed but i do this for me and i dont want it tainted with peoples' judgment.

Whitney @ EHFAR said...

I definitely try to keep it separate!!! I have a FB page for my blog, but I haven't like it from my personal account because I don't want it showing up in my feed. I do have my blog URL on my instagram and twitter.

My husband's family knows. I can't remember if I told them or they found out. I received positivity from it. I did get it trouble with my family. I wrote aggravation surrounding my wedding and they found it. What really was the kicker... I wrote a vague post. Someone read something into it that wasn't there and emailed my mom about it!! It caused so much drama. I have even had people that I know in real life find my blog and read it without me saying anything about it.

My close friends don't know about it. They might, but they never mention it. When I first started dating my husband, his roommates found it.

I definitely feel like blogging is a fun outlet, a journal and diary for me, and a non-judgemental safe place.

lil desiqua said...

I definitely keep the two separate. I don't have my blog URL anywhere, however if you're on my blog, you can get to my Twitter and IG. I have told literally 3 close friends and my ex (when we were together), and I know they read it, which I'm ok with (well, except for the ex, now). They all support it. I have told 2 other people that I have a blog, but they didn't ask for the address, so I didn't give it. This has been something I've been thinking about a lot lately, however, I like having the "privacy" of IRL friends/coworkers/etc not knowing, and being free to write whatever I want without judgement.

Vulnerable is the perfect word for it. I'm so sorry it happened to you twice in one day! How did you get exposed?

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I used to be all "oooh I have a blog you know", but not so much anymore. I try to make it a rule to not write anything that I wouldn't want anyone in my "real life" to read, but blogging has turned into a real life thing for me. I don't talk about blogging with family or friends in town, but they all know about it. I've learned to not be ashamed of it as well. People find their soul mates on the internet, why can't I find really good friends on the internet?

Kristie's Blue Jeans said...

Pretty much everyone I am connected to via facebook knows I have a blog and I am ok with that. My dad would say the same thing to me if he knew I had a blog on the internet as I continuously receive lectures on not putting my life on the internet. I feel for you in the negative comment sections. People on the web can be so cruel, even the ones we know well. Hang in there girl and know that there are several of us who enjoy your little piece of the blog world.

~Krista
kristiesbluejeans.blogspot.com

Stephanie said...

It never even occurred to me not to tell people. I didn't even know that was a thing. When I started and I had zero followers I told all of my friends "YOU BETTER FOLLOW ME OR ELSE." I'm an extrovert who likes attention, what can I say?

Chrissy said...

I know exactly how you feel!! I feel like I have real life and blog life and would be totally embarrassed for those two to collide. Here, im honest, open, happy, sad, im real. Real life isn't as accepting of these feelings and the openness as blog friends are. I'm a dork for sure on my blog, and would probably want to crawl in a hole if real life people were to discover it. Haha.

Reba K. Writes said...

Haha my dad says the same thing, he thinks it could affect potential employment.

CocoCors said...

I started blogging when I went abroad and merged my personal/blog world. I was getting so many opinions on what to/not to put from family & friends that I just about gave up. Coming back to "reality" after being abroad, I decided to give blogging another go. This time it is for me. I am a bit apprehensive to air my life online, and as much as I want to "please" friends, family, and readers, I need to continue to do my own thing. Its a great outlet and a great way to connect with others outside of my local social circle.

Thanks for this post! It is really encouraging to baby bloggers like myself embarking on the whole blogging excursion!

Nicole, keepcalmandcocoon.blogspot.com

Jen @ That's What She Read said...

i have tried to keep it seperate for ever and then made the mistake of getting a blog facebook page, where my mother and grandmother promptly shared it with everyone they knew. I hid it for about a year ! now people say they read it and it freaks me out! but like you said, can't stop won't stop! :)

Jay T said...

No one in my family knows about my blog, and only 3 of my real life friends know. I would die if anybody found out about it and I choose to believe that will never happen even though it's inevitable. Please never stop blogging!

Kathryn said...

I feel ya! Once I found out my husband's students and certain family members had found my blog, I second think what I write.

Hena Tayeb said...

I don't purposely keep it a secret but I don't go around advertising it either.. I am always surprised when I meet a friend who mentions they read it.. it doesn't bother me.. I don't think I over share or am disclosing things I'd rather remain private..

Niki {Glossy Blonde} said...

I don't think it's weird at all! I think a lot of people keep things separate. I'm an open book about my blog, so in my case, everyone I live with, work with, or spend any time with knows about it. But sometimes I wish I had kept it separate. Especially so I could post things like "what to do when..." posts without it coming off as passive agressive, because the person it's about is reading it. Ya know? Anyway, I don't think it's weird!

Sarah said...

no way you are not weird. I haven't really advertized it either. I haven't even told D. I dno why? I think its just personal and I feel like i will be judged.

I am sorry you were judged friend and that it made you feel insecure. That is wrong & unfair of those people.

Keep on doing what you wanna do!

Jackie said...

I never tried to separate my worlds. Because I had started the blog to keep family updated too.

Anonymous said...

My mom always says I share too much, even though I really don't! Our parents just don't get it.

Beth @ A Perpetual Journey said...

I have a mini panic attack every time someone from my home town likes my blog page on FB...especially when it's because my PARENTS SHARE it on their Facebook. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

Girl I completely feel you on this. Like you my family and super close friends all know about and support my blog. And if anyone asks about it I'll talk about it but then quickly try to talk it down and change the subject haha. I'll so glad you write though and NO JUDGEMENT on anything, I LOVE checking in on you :)...Also it's impossible not to feel an attachment to a fellow VFL!

Elle Sees said...

mine's not a personal blog, but i know i restrain myself when it comes to my personal life bc of those that read and analyze what i say. idk how my family and friends found out, but they don't read it and it hurts my feelings. i have really good content that helps and they just want the free stuff i get sent.

Steph G said...

My friends have known about mine since the beginning, so I've never heard that secret side (I kind of wish I did sometimes) - but for some reason whenever they reference my blog, I'm surprised... they actually read it? Crazy.

Amy said...

It really can be scary writing things and knowing people in real life could be reading them! Isn't that strange? But I totally relate!