Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Who Do Ya Love Wednesday - Guest Blogger #5 Cally

Only ONE DAY left to enter my blog revamp giveaway from EyeCandy!!! Better hurry!

I can't believe this is week 5 of 6 in my Guest Post Series - Who Do ya Love Wednesday! Thank you for making this super successful! Today I am going to feature another blogger who has a personality that constantly keeps me laughing - Cally from Older Nawt Wiser. Can you tell I'm big on personality? As we speak Cally is cooped up in a car with 2 dogs traveling from Chicago to Florida to make a half way across the country move! I welcome her with open arms to the South! If you like a girl with some snarkety snark, then Cally is your girl! I asked her to give me (and you) some wedding advice since I'm in the midst of planning this soiree! She doesn't post many pictures of herself so I was happy that she wanted to share some pictures from her special day with us! Enjoy!

Since our girl Nikki here is recently engaged - and after you get engaged, you have to plan a wedding - I thought I would share some of the more important lessons I learned during my wedding planning process. While some things are a given (don't get drunk before your vows - don't accidentally make out with the best man - try not to flash anyone) are a given, there are other things that I wish someone would have told me before my wedding. Not that I would have listened, but still.

1. Don't be afraid to fight for what you want. When you're planning a wedding, the jokes about the dreaded "B" word will fly freely. Any time you express a desire, thought, a wish contrary to someone, it's thrown in your face. Bridezilla. I think fear of being a Bridezilla made me force the pendulum the other way. I was far too accommodating and forced myself to not stand up for some of the the things I wanted. For example, our suits for the men were grey. I had really, really wanted grey bridesmaids dresses. I had this lovely vision in my head of cute, grey, totes re-wearable dresses. Accented with adorable bright pink shoes. I collected pictures, put together many an inspiration board, swooned over the idea with my maid of honor. Except she didn't really like it. I pushed and she pushed and somehow I ended up with pink dresses. With black shoes... and black cover-ups. What? I know. Black had nothing to do with my wedding, but I was so worried about pushing people into things they might not want that I let the decision float away from me. Did it ruin my wedding? No. But when I look at pictures of me and my bridesmaids, I always remember that it's not the way I wanted it. If you want it, try your best to make sure you get it. Chances are, you'll know pretty quick if you've crossed the line into "Bridezilla" territory. Possibly by the reactions of the people around you as you smash flower arrangements and push over cakes and swear about the flower girl dresses.

2. Keep copies of everything. Email correspondence and cancelled checks, receipts and agreements. Don't just have these things, have these things all in once place (perhaps a binder) at your wedding. I seemed to have some terrible luck the day of our wedding. I paid every vendor in full in advance, and cockily thought my work was done. My first hiccup was when the hair and makeup girls requested the rest of their payment. I gaped at them a bit with my eyes sort of glazed over, when my maid of honor chimed in I paid already. Except I couldn't prove it. A quick call to their boss confirmed I did pay. Whew, I thought. If this is the worst thing that happens, I've got it made! Bring on the champagne! And then, near the end of the night, my photobooth was packing up. And began to ask everyone - bridesmaids, groomsman, my dad - for my remaining balance. I again calmly explained (once someone had the good sense to oh, I don't know, get me) that I paid in full prior. So the girls put me on the phone with their boss, the man I'd been working with this whole time. And he called me a liar. Swore up and down I owed him money. Accused me of cheating him. Said his people weren't leaving until someone paid them. I tried to use reason, I got mad, I cried, I threatened. I knew I paid and I knew I had proof I paid. But I didn't have it on me. The call ended with him hanging up on me, telling me his people would leave but I could expect to hear from his lawyer. I ended up spending ten minutes crying in the bathroom in front of a few guests. The whole thing was easily solved the next morning by scanning canceled checks and forwarding emails. However, it would have been better solved if I could have just shown those people my proof up front. No questions, no crying in the bathroom. And I wouldn't have had to deal with the free offers for a photobooth and endless apology emails and calls from the man. Talk about a new level of awkward, people.

3. Steal as if your life depended on it. When I was planning my wedding, photobooths were running wild, handmade details were the bee's knees, using your shoes for pops of color under your dress reigned supreme. (Are all of these still true? Does anyone besides me ever call anything the "bee's knees"? What about "cat's pajamas"? I've digressed too far.) I fell hard for all of these things and more. I worried, though. After I saw wedding after perfectly staged online wedding, I started to waver. If everyone is doing it, I'm just going to look like a copy cat. They'll take my Bride Card! Well, relax and steal away my friends. The guests at your wedding? Have not spent hours on Style Me Pretty. They have not dedicated the last few months of their life to inspiration boards and color choices and favor selections. Those effers will have no idea. You'll get so many compliments! Whatever it is, it's all over the place because it's a good idea. And if someone does recognize it? Almost 100 percent chance she's planning her own wedding, and will appreciate the time you dedicated to finding the best ideas out there. And she's probably trying to figure out how she can use your centerpiece idea to her own advantage.

4. It's a cliché at this point, but the day will honestly be over before you know it. Months and months of preparation, and you snap your fingers and you're on your honeymoon. Try and make some pockets in the day where you can decompress. If it's just before the ceremony, during pictures or even in the middle of the reception. Don't be afraid to sneak away for five minutes, sometimes with your new husband, sometimes alone. Just a few minutes to breathe and bask in the glory of your precise planning. Even though you're the center of attention, no one will even know you're gone. Weddings are huge and chaotic and a few moments here and there won't be missed. It will go so far to help keep your sanity intact.

5. You are going to piss someone off with your decisions. It's just a fact. Weddings are a crazy, emotionally charged time. Everyone wants what's best for you and most of the time they have no idea how to convey that. I had immediate family members get "hurt" by a decision I made (the actual wedding dress I chose to buy - can you believe that?) and refuse to attend the wedding. That's fine. I had another family member from my husband's side think one of my super flirty cousins was trying to steal his girl and threaten a fight. The first thing was ignored, the second thing was squashed down flat. Honestly, the people at your wedding are going to be paying attention to you and the things that directly affect them. So if you have a good environment, and you look like you're having fun? Everyone's going to have a kick ass time. Family members affected by any drama are going to be closely acquainted with the person causing it and know that "that's how they are." And people outside of that aren't even going to notice. So kick up your heels and to hell with them! It's your wedding!

If you heed these wise warnings, I almost guarantee your wedding day stress will be reduced by at least fifteen percent. And if something gets too far out of hand or too stressful for you? Just smile and pawn if off on your maid of honor. That's what they're there for.

Congrats again, Nikki!

See, isn't she just the best? I love her! If you live in Florida, around Ft. Lauderdale/Miami area then you need to hit this girl up. If you don't live around there, then you need to check out her blog, Older Nawt Wiser! Thanks Cally for your advice!



Makaila said...

nikki, this is GREAT advice!!! spot on! print it and put it in the front of your wedding binder!

Dee {Strings and Buttons} said...

Definitely agree with the tips as I've followed a lot of them myself for my wedding! Thanks for introducing us to Nikki! x

hautepinkpretty said...

Awe this reminds me of my wedding day!! I agree, love your tips! I was worried about the B word too but for us, we paid for our own wedding - every single EXPENSIVE AS HECK penny of it. We also spent 2 years planning it so, to me, you could call me a Bridezilla if you want but when I'm spending MY hard earned money and two years of MY life, things were going to go how I wanted it and that was that lol!! For such an important day of your life, you just have to put your foot down sometimes... but I definitely gave in for some things I wish I hadn't - *sigh* c'est la vie, right? Love your post and photos :) Xox <3

lexi said...

you have some great tips. i was happy to just go to the courthouse though hahahaha

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

Oh, she's adorable and I love the Mr. & Mrs. chairs. And she's a hero to travel with two dogs. I would rather be hit in the head with a wet squirrel.

Allyson Butler said...

This is such great advice! Also, I just found your sweet blog, and I love it - new follower.


cally said...

I definitely considered that option.

cally said...

Thanks!! That's one of my favorite pictures! And the dogs are doing surprisingly well, considering.